Fear of Father Christmas: My five-year-old daughter has always been naturally wary of strangers. Even as a baby she wouldn’t smile at people that she didn’t know, and would begin to cry when strangers talked to her in her pushchair. In the Christmas holidays we had planned to take her to London to meet Father Christmas with her cousins, but when I told her about this outing she became very upset. She told me she didn’t want Father Christmas to visit her, and was really alarmed at the thought of him coming down the chimney at home.
With Christmas fast approaching I am concerned that she will see images of Father Christmas everywhere, and her increasing fear of Father Christmas will ruin her enjoyment of the Christmas festivities.
Today’s children are growing up in a world where we discuss ‘stranger danger’ with them at a young age. It is possible your daughter has had a school visit from a policeman, who talked to her class about the danger of strangers. So it is really rather sensible of your little girl to be wary of a bearded man in a red suit who tiptoes into children’s bedrooms while they sleep!
There are several approaches you can take to lessen her fear:
- Firstly acknowledge the fear as real and don’t attempt to dismiss it. Don’t tease her or make fun of her concern in her presence.
- Try to understand what it is she is actually frightened of – it might be that someone has said something at school about Father Christmas which has worried her. Telling a small child that Father Christmas only visits well-behaved children can also give them the impression that Father Christmas becomes a disapproving figure if a child does something naughty. Do explain to your daughter that Father Christmas loves all boys and girls, and is a very kindly character.
- Explain to her where the tradition comes from and, using books, show her lots of appealing images of Father Christmas.
- Discuss with your daughter whether she would like to hang her stocking downstairs in the sitting room, by the fireplace, and if necessary suggest that perhaps Father Christmas could leave her stocking at Granny’s house.
- Then write a letter together to Father Christmas, with the delivery requests. Perhaps an elf might ‘reply’ to her letter reassuring her that Father Christmas got her letter.
By taking a gentle, understanding approach it is likely that your little girl will naturally begin to overcome her fears as her excitement at the thought of a stocking filled with treasures becomes more imminent.