I am concerned about my son of 26mths who has started head banging when settling himself to sleep.
My little boy is now 26 months old and for the past 2 months on and off he has been head banging at night and occasionally to get himself off to sleep at his lunchtime nap. My health visitor says it is perfectly normal and to ignore him and he should grow out of it. I have done this until the last week when it has got so bad. Some nights he might only wake a couple of times and stop banging after a minute or so and go back to sleep Other nights he will ‘wake’ every couple of hours and bang for anything up to twenty minutes. He has also started to wake about 5 or 5:30 and headbang until he calls for me to get him up about 6:30/7. He has always been a good sleeper on Gina routines sleeping 7pm until 6:30/7am. I am really worried that his ferocious and incredibly loud banging (he’s on his hands and knees head butting the end of his cot as hard as he can) will be causing him harm. His eyes are closed and if I go to him he doesn’t want me, just wants to keep doing it as if it’s comforting some how. He is a very happy child by day, calm and well behaved always giggling. He eats well and has a regular daytime nap from 12:30/1 -2PM I am also worried as he has started to wake his 6 month old sister very early in the mornings which is having an impact on her day routines when she has so far been a ‘perfect’ Gina baby since birth. He has been fine since the birth of his sister and not shown any signs of jealousy or bad behavior etc at all. I have tried not giving him his daytime nap and whilst he got through the day fine the night time was exactly the same.
The information given to you by your health visitor was correct. This way of soothing themselves to sleep is fairly common amongst babies and children under the age of three, especially boys. It can be alarming to see your child doing this every night but he is unlikely to harm himself despite the intensity of the banging.
Dr Richard Ferber writes extensively on the subject in his book Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems. Your local library should have a copy and it may help you to read chapter 13, in particular. He also makes the points that this behaviour is usually nothing to really worry about and that your child will outgrow it in time.
As your son started this behavior in the last two months it may be linked to the birth of his sister. Often a toddler can appear totally accepting of a sibling when she is first born as she does little more than eat and sleep. But, after a few months, the reality of the situation begins to dawn and the baby becomes more of a presence in the home. Once the baby starts to be more active and mobile in the day the older child may feel some jealousy towards her but not necessarily show it directly.
Be aware that your son may need a little more one to one attention in the day and made to feel that being the “big boy” or “big brother” does not mean he is any less important to you. Find plenty of things that he and you can enjoy doing together whilst his sister sleeps.
Dr Ferber suggests that you encourage your child to enjoy rhythmic activities in the day. This could be swinging, rocking on a horse or see-saw, finding the beat in music or sitting in a rocking chair. He also suggests that putting a loud ticking clock into the bedroom may take your son’s attention if it is at the same beat as his head banging. He may then lie still and be soothed by it. There is no guarantee that this will work but could be worth a try.
If your son continues to head bang and you feel that it is getting worse, or that it is more prolonged when he is asleep, it would be wise to ask the advice of your doctor.