One of my identical 16 week old twins is waking more at night and the other twin is unsettled in the evening
I have two problems with my 16 week identical twin girls. The first is that twin 1 is waking more and more during the night and does not really settle for a few hours. She generally wakes around 2.30am and will keep waking every 15mins or so until about 5.30am when she will go to sleep (we go to her between 6-8 times). To settle her we resort to a dummy as nothing else works but this does not last long either. I want to avoid the dummy as she will go to sleep without it to begin with. I’ve tried water but this makes no difference .I’ve tried giving her more milk in the evening but she won’t take it. We do dash in to settle for fear of waking twin 2 who most nights will sleep through. They are both in their cots in sleeping bags firmly tucked in with a sheet. During the day this twin chews her fists an awful lot and can be a bit grumpy after she wakes up waiting for a feed but sometimes she won’t finish a feed. So I didn’t think she would be ready for solids, they were also 3 weeks early so only 13 weeks with time adjusted. Sometimes when we go in she appears wide awake but as soon as she is given a dummy or picked up she drops to sleep but will be awake 15 minutes later.
The second problem is with twin 2 who will often sleep through from 11-7am but will scream and wake between 7-11pm. When we feed them at 6.30pm they are very sleepy and will fall straight to sleep. We always try to wake them as we put them down but this is hard to do. 10minutes later twin 2 will wake up and cry (resulting in twin 1 being woken). We go in every 10minutes to pat her etc but she just screams and gets into a real state ( I try picking her up and burping her but it makes no difference) I understood this is the crying down method but she seems to get worse until she is sometimes sick. I’m not sure how this differs from controlled crying which I understood they are too young for. If she doesn’t fall asleep (which can take over an hour) I end up picking her up and cuddling her to sleep as her scream is like she is in pain. She sometimes wakes again during this time with the whole process starting over.
Our next move was to separate them which I don’t want to be a long term solution as we only have a tiny spare room. Sorry there are two problems but I would appreciate some advice as things seem to be getting worse. When they were fed in the night they slept fine only ever waking once.
The twins are fed at 7.15am 4-5ozs, not interested in having more at this time, 10.45am 6-7ozs, 2.45pm 6-7ozs, 5.30pm 3ozs , they are too sleepy to take it all at 6.30pm, 6.30pm 4ozs, 10.30pm 6-7ozs, this feed is a bit of a struggle as they are rather sleepy.
Twin 1 weighs 13.6lbs and twin 2 weighs 12.8lbs.
The girls nap at 9-9.45am, 11.45-2pm and 4.30-5pm.
To help your daughter, Twin 1, sleep better through the night split her feed at 10pm and keep her awake for over an hour. If your daughter has a proper spell awake in the late evening she is likely to sleep better through the night. Although you are dealing with twins this should be manageable in the evening.
Babies fall into a deep sleep after 10pm and can be hard to wake after this time, so begin to wake Twin 1 at 9.45pm. It may take her twenty minutes to be fully awake but don’t begin to feed her until she is. Give her 2/3rds of her feed and then allow her to have a time of quiet wakefulness, kicking on the floor in a lighted room with some background noise to keep her alert. Whilst she is having this break, wake and feed your second baby. You may decide to give this split feed to both of them if your second baby is sleepy at this feed and struggles to take the full amount. By 11.15pm Twin 1 should be ready to settle again. Change her nappy and take her into her room where you offer her the rest of her feed. As it will be over an hour since she was first fed, give the remainder of the feed in a fresh bottle to avoid the possibility of stale milk tainting the teat. Your daughter should be ready to settle down and sleep more deeply in the night after this longer time awake.
The description you give of your other daughter, Twin 2, finding it difficult to settle to sleep properly in the evening is of a baby who is overtired. If she is really tired by 6.30pm then move her 5.30pm feed and bath to an earlier time. Splitting the feed between 5pm and 6.15pm should help here. If both girls are bathed at 5.45pm and feeding by 6.15pm they can go down in their cots by 6.40pm, which may help them to settle better. Giving a split feed at 5pm/6.15pm helps them take a slightly larger feed overall and also ensures that they are really hungry for their 10pm feed. If you feel the girls will not really be hungry by 5pm consider moving their 2.45pm feed back to 2.30pm and cutting it down by 1oz so they will be more likely to take a good feed later, at 5pm/6.15pm, before settling for the evening.
It is not advisable to use controlled crying for babies of this age. It involves leaving your baby for gradually longer periods of time before going into reassure. Crying down is the term used for an over tired baby who is settling down to sleep. To reassure both your babies and yourself it is best to check them every 10 minutes. A baby who is really over tired and fighting sleep may take up to 30 minutes to properly settle. For a full description of this method see page 39 of The Complete Sleep Guide. If you are aware that she is beginning to cry less then wait another 5 minutes before checking her, as she may be disturbed by you and have to begin the process of calming herself down all over again. The more often this happens the less likely she is to settle herself into a deep, restful sleep for the evening.
Whilst you are dealing with this evening restlessness you may decide it is better to separate the twins for a few nights. See page 56 of The Complete Sleep Guidewhere Gina describes how she has dealt with this problem. Once you have dealt with your daughter’s crying down, and she is settling better in the evenings, move the girls back together again. If the girls do not get used to each other’s crying they may continue to be restless and unsettled at different times in the evening and night. It is better to have a few disturbed evenings and nights now, whilst they become used to each other, than for you to have problems with them both waking each other up throughout their first year.