Should I start sleep training or walking my 8-week-old son for his lunchtime nap?
I suffer from an immune disorder which makes me very weak physically; having a second child was a bit of a risk really. I have also just been diagnosed with PND. We have been trying the routine but are having such problems with the lunch-time nap as our 8-week-old wakes after 45 minutes. Our first child, was a “catnapper” and very unhappy as a baby; I am desperate for this not to be the case for our new baby. I have been reading the advice on the website and in the book but am at a loss as to whether to let my son sleep for the two hours by walking him or to start sleep training?
He is also not sleeping through the night, he wakes between 2-4am. We need some help urgently.
At present he feeds 7.30am, 10.30am, 2pm, 5.45pm, 10-11pm which are all 6oz feeds and takes 5ozs at 2.30am.
He naps at 9-9.45am, 12-12.45pm,1-1.45pm and 4-4.45pm. He is settled by 7pm.
With all the health problems you are having you could perhaps consider employing a maternity nurse for a week or so. You will need to specify that you need someone who will follow a Gina Ford routine- and help you get your son into a better lunchtime pattern as well as beginning to push on in the night. Another option [in London] is to consider the Night Nanny service.
There is a question on the bottom of p87 of The New Contented Baby about the lunchtime nap which may begin to help you solve this problem.
I would suggest that you offer your son a top-up feed before going down to eliminate hunger from the reasons why he has begun to wake after 45 minutes. Make sure his room is really dark and he is well tucked in with a sheet lengthways across him as his Moro reflex could still be quite strong and this disturbs him after his first sleep cycle. He appears to go back to sleep in 15 minutes; how does he do this? If you leave him to settle himself alone then 15 minutes is not long and he is doing it by himself. I understand from your mail you would like him to sleep straight through for 2 hrs. He needs to learn to settle alone now if, as I understand, he is only awake for 15 minutes.
It can be hard to listen to a baby cry, but if it is of the on/off type rather than getting really worked up, it is best to let him settle himself alone. If you are having to go back in and get him off again I suggest you begin to lengthen the time – give him at least 10 minutes before going into check him. Tuck him in again if needed, shush and give him one or two firm pats and then leave. Repeat this ten minutes later if he is still unsettled. This way you are reassuring him you are still there but giving him the chance to fall back to sleep alone. This method of sleep training is suited to babies of your son’s age.
The idea of walking your baby in a pram at this time can help a baby learn to sleep for a longer without the 45 min wake up. It can depend on how your baby sleeps as to whether you put him in a pram and walk until he is asleep, then leave him in a quiet spot or keep walking especially over the 45 min window to keep their baby asleep and teach him how to sleep for a full cycle. Some mums find this works well for shopping trips etc but it is probably the best to get your baby sleeping in his cot as well at this time. In short, train him to sleep for 2 hours and then get that to happen in his cot as well as with the motion of a pram.
As for nights: try splitting his 10pm feed, although you may do so already as you have written 10-11 on his form. For this to work wake him at 10pm and feed him 3-4 ozs. Then let him have a real break to 11.15pm (can your partner do this feed for you?) with a kick and some quiet play then give him a fresh bottle with another 3-4 ozs at 11.15pm. Give it after his change and in a dark room so he settles back to sleep. As he is now 8 weeks and still waking at 2am offer him cool boiled water when he wakes to try to settle him back again. This will begin to push him through a bit as it would seem he is waking from habit at this time. He may only settle for an hour before needing a small feed to get him through to 7am, but this will begin to push him on. Try to see if you can settle him with 4ozs in the night so he begins to increase his daytime feeds rather than having a full feed in the night. See p 148-149 of the Contented Little Baby about this use of the “core night”.