My 27mth daughter who is fully potty trained is now waking early in the morning needing to wee.
My daughter is 27 months old now, and 2 months ago was toilet trained very successfully in 3 days which I was so proud of and thanks to Gina’s book. She uses the big toilet now and has been dry during the night for over a month, but I still put her in a nappy. Now I am not sure whether this is the problem, but it certainly seems like it, although it had started to happen prior to her being toilet trained.
My daughter goes to bed at 7-7.30pm Monday – Sunday (she is taken for a wee straight before bed) and her last drink of the day is with her supper at 5.30 – 6pm.
Without fail every morning she wakes at 5.45am shouting for mommy and daddy. When we go in she is standing up in her cot and asks for the toilet, which I know is probably every mom’s dream. We take her to the toilet, no lights on and no conversation other that for when she has finished we try to put her back in her cot and say its still night night time. She starts kicking and screaming and shouting no mommy, no mommy I get up now! We have tried the controlled crying method but she will just continue to cry and scream until we go and get her up at 7am (Monday to Friday) due to work and nursery, but on some weekend we have left her and she is still crying at 7- 7.30am, so we give in and get her up.
She only has 1 sleep during the day from 12.45 – 1pm for 45 mins, sometimes an hour (but that is max) on Sundays when we have been swimming I let her have an hour. On some weekends she doesn’t want a sleep and will protest if we try to put her to bed for a nap. So I don’t think that it is because she is having too much day time sleep. I thought it may have been too little, so decided to let her wake naturally and she always wakes after an hour anyway.
I think what I am asking here is do I now transfer her to a bed, put a night light on and teach her to go to the loo herself or just live with the fact she is a 5.50am waker, which is making both myself and my husband very tired and ratty even though we have changed our bedtime to no later than 10pm, but feel we have no life. You can see that when my daughter does get up she is still tired as she will sometimes roll the floor crying and having a tantrum. It is a battle to get her dressed for nursery as she is so ratty.
We tried putting her in a bed in July but it was a disaster as we had 7 nights of constant screaming and being sick and her finally sleeping from midnight to 5am, so we put her back in her cot and all was well for a month anyway.
How can I stop the early waking? A friend as suggested that when we go to bed that we lift my daughter and take her to the toilet which might stop her waking early. This seems very unusual but I am willing to try anything.
As your daughter has been consistently dry in the morning, lifting her at 10pm may well not really achieve a great deal [i.e. a later wake up]. This practice is usually used for older children who are unable to get through the night, and so bed wet. Gina has a section in the potty training book about it- p 111. If you have a child who manages to get through some nights and not other nights it can be used to help but, as you see in Gina’ book, most experts think it is not really the answer- because the child is half asleep anyway and not really aware of what they are doing.
Your daughter has shown she is able to get through the night- albeit to an early hour. There may be another reason for her early waking and as she wakes, not surprisingly, her first need is for the loo- as it is for most of us.
Your ideas on sleep seem sound. I wonder if she is very tired when she goes to bed, especially on nursery days, and is falling straight into a deep sleep? This is a common reason for waking early the next morning. Even making bedtime 15-20 mins earlier may help. If you decide to try to get your daughter to bed earlier be aware that it may take two weeks for a real difference to be seen in the time she wakes in the morning.
So, whether to move her into a bed again? Unless she begins to wake later you will still have to help her get in and out to begin with and, as she now knows about mornings etc, you may well have quite a task on your hands. The other problem which can arise in using a night light at this age is it can lead to waking in the night. It may not but it is best to know both sides of this decision.
If you do decide to move your daughter into a bed now then I suggest you explain to her how you expect her to behave in the morning. You can get “bunny clocks” which you set at “get up time” so a child knows when it is officially daytime. This may help her get used to getting out for a wee and getting back to bed again, if she really does need to do this early in the morning.
I would seriously think about putting a stair gate at her doorway, for her own safety, as a small child half asleep could have a serious accident if they wandered about in the dark. It also prevents them from getting up and starting the day as a child in a dark room who knows they cannot get out is more likely to put themselves back to bed. She may well call to you in the beginning until she is used to getting herself out of her bed and onto the potty, even if she begins to wake later. Use lots of encouragement- and stars too. [see below]
If you have a copy of Contented Baby to Confident Child look at the section starting on p 171- Early morning Waking. Here Gina shows that by being consistent and firm [I know you have been trying with your daughter already in the mornings] a child will learn that you do mean that it is too early. It can be difficult to be firm and consistent when the same thing happens every morning. By having a clock as well you can show her that daytime has not yet begun. Your daughter will have something to concentrate on rather than crying for you. One word of caution –it is not unknown for quite small children be able to reset the bunny clock if it is within easy access- look for a high place where it can be seen but not handled.
Using a star chart with your daughter may be a way to get her to comply with your wishes for a later morning start. Draw up a chart with plenty of colour and pictures. Explain to her that she may have a sticker each morning she has stayed quietly in her room. You might like to have two or three lines for different things such as taking herself to her potty, not calling out, but don’t make it too complicated. Things can be added to the chart or a new one drawn when the needs for this one have disappeared. Find some stickers which will appeal to her and decide if you are going to “reward” her for getting a certain number in a row. Normally with under-threes the reward for them is to see the row of stickers. You may be able to think of something small and preferably not food related which you can give her once she has really tried to stay in her room, and settle back to sleep, if she has woken needing a wee.
It is a frustrating problem since she has done so well to be trained with such ease. Although it may take some time to get her used to being in a bed, getting in and out alone and staying quiet until official morning time, if you remain determined and persistent eventually she will be able to achieve all these things.