How do I adjust the routines to fit a newborn of 10 days in with two school age children?
I have 2 older boys aged 7 and 4.5. I have a couple of problems: firstly the morning school run which coincides with nap time. At the moment Dad is doing this, as he is a lecturer and works fairly flexibly, but in 2 weeks he will be teaching for a week and leaving early. How do I sort out a morning nap when I am leaving home at 8.30 (by car then a walk) for school, then onto nursery? Its lots of short car rides and walks; I don’t want to get out of routine.
Also, pick up from school means leaving home at 3pm; my son who is 2 weeks old goes straight to sleep in the car (which of course he won’t do on the way to school when there are exciting big brothers about) then grouches about his nap later. The 4pm nap often has to be at home because of the elder boys routine; I don’t want to disturb their routine too much and cause sibling alienation.
And finally, we are on routine all day until 6pm when it gets really hard. Baby has to be fed and quietened but the family supper must be cooked too. Because of feeding problems with the other 2, we HAVE to eat as a family about 6.30pm; this has been a major issue with the kids and I really cannot alter this sacrosanct routine! My baby sits on my lap and has his bottle, then I eat supper with him cuddled up on my lap. He seems to settle well at 6.45, and so far the boys bath and bed routine hasn’t disturbed him, but I am concerned that this may not continue.
He hasn’t been swaddled (as he was born in the really hot weather and I was concerned regarding overheating) but having read your other advice I’m going to start swaddling, although waking himself up hasn’t been a problem…yet.
My eldest son was a breast and sleep on demand nightmare, my second son was a CLB baby – what a difference!! Despite the health visitors concerns, my baby will be too I hope.
Fitting a third child around his older brothers’ needs is possible, with a little bit of juggling. At present your son is a typical newborn who will sleep often for 1.5hrs in the morning rather than just an hour. Even with big brothers in the car, you may find he will fall asleep during the car ride to school. But as he begins to need less sleep, he may start waking after 45 minutes. If you find he is awake from 9.15/9/30am onwards, rather than sleeping from 9-10am you will need to allow for a small cat nap after his 10am feed so he does not put all the timings out for his midday nap. Let him sleep from 10.45-11am so he is ready for his long nap by 12.30pm.
As your son has been taking his morning nap whilst out in the car and pram, it is fine for him to take his afternoon sleep at home. This nap is often two cat naps. If he falls asleep on the way to school at 3pm and wakes up on the way home, let him have another 1/2 hour at 4.15pm, waking him by 4.45pm. As supper time is quite a hectic part of your day, and your older boys will need attention too, you could bring forward your sons feed to 4.45pm followed by a time when he sits in his chair whilst you prepare supper. If you are able, you could feed him at 6pm and settle him in his chair whilst you serve supper before putting him upstairs to bed at 6.30/6.45pm. This may help him take a better feed as he is not so tired. Once he is fed winded and asleep, the boys bath and bedtime routine should not disrupt him too much. It is probably better to give him a slightly earlier bedtime so you are able to concentrate on the other two. Again, as he gets bigger he will be able to sit in his chair whilst the family have supper and be put into bed afterwards.
Swaddling him may not be necessary if he is not disturbed by flailing arms and the Moro reflex waking him, but can be a useful thing to do if his naps and sleeps begin to be disturbed in the next week or so. At present he is probaly still sleeping like a newborn, but in another week may be more restless and liable to disturb himself.