My 2-year-old son is waking at night and crying out. What should I do?
After being a perfect sleeper for well over a year, my son now wakes up once or twice a night screaming for mummy or daddy. This has been going on for a couple of months (but it does not coincide with the birth of our new baby).
It wakes us up, and I always go to him – he settles back down very quickly.
It happens on most nights but not every one, and he settles quickly so I don’t think it is attention seeking. It is not his baby sister waking him.
We are shattered because of this and his sister is waking us very early every morning – I am starting to suffer from cold sores, ulcers and am being horrid to my kids.
What should I do? Should I let him cry?
He has a lunchtime nap from 1.30-3pm and is settled in bed at 7pm.
As your son settles back to sleep quickly these night wakings are probably due to a “partial night-waking” which happens as he is moving from one sleep cycle to another. Instead of moving from deep sleep to REM smoothly he gets caught between the stages. His body may be active but his mind is not. Although it may mean you have disturbed sleep yourself, it is much better to go into him and reassure him.
Most experts agree that the cause of these wakings in young children is often due to overtiredness. A typical two year old is “on the go” from the moment he wakes until he is asleep. Getting him to rest, apart from his nap during the day can be difficult. Try to build one or two times into his day where he “rests” perhaps whilst enjoying a puzzle or looking at a book with you. You may have to bring bath and bedtime forward so the time after tea is calm and quiet. Be very aware of any videos of stories which may be too exciting for this time of day and discourage any kind of running around or games after he is out of the bath. Having a relaxing and gentle time before bed will help him settle down quietly to sleep.
Another reason for this partial waking could be muscle spasms again linked to excessive activity by day. This again is not always easy to contain in a two year old but just be aware that he does need quieter times as well as plenty of physical exercise.
Handled in the way you are doing, with a quick reassurance and an eye kept on not letting him get too overtired or stimulated before bedtime, should see this phase soon pass.