How can I get my 5mth daughter to feed better in the day and less at night?
I am new to your techniques and am a bit desperate for help! My daughter is just turning 5 months old. At 3 months, she would have 5 bottles (6-8.5 oz), approx. 3.5 hours apart during the day, and was sleeping for a good 10 hour stretch between feeds at night (usually 8pm until 6.30ish). Her weight is now around 16lb 7oz. At 6 weeks, she was diagnosed with acid reflux and has been on Infant Gaviscon ever since. We have tried reducing the doses recently – but found that the reflux returned very quickly.
The feeding problems began immediately after her first immunizations (at 15 weeks – done later than usual due to a mix up by our health visitor) as she began teething and got a cold – which threw her feeds off completely and she began waking more and more at night for extra feeds (usually 1st at midnight and then again around 4am). She’ll take anything from 4-7oz at these feeds. The knock-on effect of this was that she would sleep later in the morning and not want a first feed until around 10am. Although the cold has now gone (she had another over Christmas) – this problem has continued.
As I’m due to start back at work in a few weeks – we decided to start weaning her at 17 weeks as I wanted to be involved in this before she starts at nursery, and we also wanted to see if this would help her start sleeping through the night again. We also began waking her at 7am each morning to try and encourage a better daytime routine. We follow the same bath time routine from 6.40pm every night – ending in a milk feed before bed at 7.30. She naps at roughly the same time every day – 9-9.45/10am 12-2pm, 4-4.45pm (although the two hour nap sometimes occurs in the morning if we’ve had a particularly fretful night). She goes down for naps and at night pretty well – although this took time to establish – but has always seemed to be able to get herself back to sleep ok – if she’s not hungry.
The problem we have is that the teething (we assume) is causing her to reject feeds – she struggles off the bottle, or chews the teat but then cries as she is hungry. We sing to her, rock her; carry her around – anything to distract her. And sometimes this works – but it’s a real struggle to get her to take more than 6.5 oz, and sometimes it’s as little as 3oz. She takes the solids just fine – I guess because this doesn’t hurt her gums?
We tried using a 3 hole Avent teat, instead of a 2 – but this just streams over her chin. We’ve also tried delaying starting the feed – as you suggest – but this rarely seems to make a difference. We also split feed – with a bit of play in between – to relax and calm her down (as she gets quite distressed). I use Calpol and Detinox to help with the discomfort too (I’m scared that we are making her afraid of feeding!). Today I tried laying her in the baby gym to feed her – which was a little more successful but I worry about feeding her this way due to the reflux.
As she is not getting sufficient milk during the day (we are lucky if we scrape up to 28 oz) she needs more to get through the night. At present – she’ll take two lots of 4 oz (at midnight and 4am). This results in the 7.45am feed being a joke most of the time though, as she is not hungry. But even after her 9am nap, when she is clearly hungry – she’ll rapidly drink 4 oz of the next feed – and then struggles to take a few ozs more.
As I’ve been following the weaning programme suggested by Tracy Hogg – the feeding schedule is:
6oz milk plus 1 tablespoon cereal – 7.45am (rarely takes more than 3/4 oz)
8oz milk – 11am (rarely takes full feed)
8oz milk – 2.30pm (rarely takes full feed)
6oz milk plus 1 tablespoon baby rice and fruit puree – 5.30 (rarely takes more than 4 oz)
8oz milk – 7.15pm bedtime (takes 6-8oz)
(Plus 4-8oz at night)
Each of these feeds are a struggle – except for the 7.15pm one and those that are done at night.
Please help! Should we try giving water at night instead? We don’t like the idea of waking her at 10pm for the feed -preferring her to wake when she is hungry if possible. But – how on earth do we improve her intake during the day – to reduce the night feeds so she is hungry at 7am? She’s a very happy and contented little soul otherwise!
My husband thinks that we are feeding her too much too often – and that she simply isn’t hungry… I am very confused and tired! I’m getting increasing anxious about how things will be when she starts nursery if this situation does not improve by then.
I would very much appreciate your advice. I should add that today I’ve tried her on your routine for the first time (for 4-5 month olds) – and so far she’s had 6oz of milk at 7am, and 4 oz milk plus 2 tsp baby rice and 2 tsp carrot puree at 11am. She also had 3.5oz at 2am this morning. She then woke at 6.20am, and I got her up at 6.40am (pretty close to the desired 7am!). The first 3.5oz was taken quickly at 7am – with the rest a bit of a struggle.
Your daughter seems to be settling into the routines well, despite her problems with feeding. As you have also begun to wean her, the daytime routine should gradually begin to improve. At this age, once weaning is well established, a baby can be expected to take 28-30ozs of milk through the day.
Look in The Contented Baby Book, on page 148, where the “core night” is explained. This will help your daughter begin to sleep for longer stretches again in the night. By giving her water first, when she wakes in the night, she should begin to cut back on the amount of milk she takes in the night, and so begin to increase her daytime intake of milk.
Depending on the amount of water she takes during the night, the 7am feed might remain small at first but will gradually increase as she sleeps for longer and drops her night-time feeds. If she wakes at 9.45/10am and is hungry use the split feed method. Give her 3-4ozs at 10am and then offer her a fresh bottle of 2-3ozs at 11.15am before her solids. Once your daughter has had the rice and carrot at 11am for a few days, move the rice to 6pm and offer it mixed with pear or apple puree. You may need to split this feed as well. Offer her 3-4ozs of milk at 5.45pm followed by her rice and fruit puree. Once she has been bathed you can offer her a further feed of 3-4ozs of milk before she goes down at bedtime.
Take a look at The Contented Guide to Weaning for a more detailed explanation as to how and when different fruits and vegetables should be introduced. At your daughter’s age it is important to offer her milk before her solids as this is still her main form of nutrition. As she increases the amount of solids she takes, especially at 11am, she will begin to decrease this milk feed in preparation for dropping it altogether when protein is introduced into her diet around the sixth month.
As your daughter has had reflux problems and two colds, take her to your doctor to be checked over for any possible ear infection which could be a cause of her distress when feeding. If she is teething, sucking may hurt her gums. Although giving split feeds can be time-consuming and fiddly, you will be encouraging your daughter to take larger quantities of milk. Stop the feed after she has taken 3-4ozs of milk and let her have a real break of 30-40 minutes. Give her some floor time or sit her in her chair so she can watch you for this time and then offer her the bottle again.
Once you have started to cut back on her night time feeds you should see an overall improvement in her daytime feeds, although she may prefer to stay with split feeds if she is suffering with discomfort through reflux or teething.