Development FAQ: 6-12 months – Learning

My 6 month old is not properly sitting yet and is unable to amuse herself for long

My daughter who is just over 6 months old does not sit well alone. She seems bored and frustrated within minutes of being put down on her play mat. Often she will hold a toy for a few minutes, suck it and then look for something else as though she is bored with everything she has. It isn’t long before she is grizzling and wants to be picked up. What sort of toys should she now be having and what can I do to help her be more independent?

Getting your daughter to play alone for increasing amounts of time does not happen straight away, especially if she has become used to you picking her up when she is grizzly. Until she is more mobile, able to sit alone and begin to move around on her tummy she is relying on you to provide her with a stimulating environment.

Place your daughter near to where you are and talk to her from time to time, telling her what you are doing. Provide her with one or two toys at a time as more will just overwhelm her. Look for toys which will encourage her to use the skills she now is developing. Her finger movements will be more dexterous so she will be able to turn, push and pull on knobs and wheels. An activity centre can be placed within her reach and she can be encouraged to turn towards it. Don’t feel you always have to be interacting with her but when she begins to grizzle sit beside her and encourage her with a cheerful voice. Distract her with something rather than always swooping in and picking her up once she becomes grizzly. This will help to prolong the amount of time she is able to play alone. At this age she will probably be content for about 15-20 minutes at a time before wanting a change of scene or position. She is becoming aware of the fact that you can disappear from view and as yet she is unable to follow you. If you want to leave the room for any length of time it is probably better to take her with you and set her down somewhere close by. If you are just popping out for a minute or two then use your voice to reassure her that you are not far away and will be back soon.

When you do have time to play with her, games of peek a boo from behind chairs or doors will help to understand that when you are not in sight you do not disappear altogether and you will come back again.

Encourage her sitting skills by setting her within a ring of cushions and placing one or two toys just within her reach. She will get frustrated and cry as she is not yet able to physically lean forward without toppling over when reaching for a toy. By placing them just within her reach but to the side as well as in front, you will help her to develop her upper body movements with turning, stretching, grabbing and putting down. Again don’t always rescue her straight away but use an encouraging voice so she learns to do things for herself.
Give her plenty of time on her tummy as well as on her back. For a baby who ho is has been used to being on her front from birth she will already be able to push herself up on her forearms and begin to move herself around using her tummy. For a baby who is not so used to this position use a rolled up towel under her chest to help support her and encourage her to push herself up on her forearms.

Encouraging your daughter to play alone will take time and patience. Make sure you do spend some times of the day really engaging with her: looking at a book, playing peek a boo, practising rolling from side to side and then at other times keep her near but with a toy of her own to occupy her. Go through her toy box and remove all the things which she is now beyond. She will become bored if offered toys which do not encourage her growing skills and dexterity. You may want to buy one or two new things such as stacking cups and wooden blocks but she will also be just as amused with a wooden spoon and a plastic lid from the kitchen cupboard. As long as everything you provide can safely be mouthed there are many everyday items she can be offered to help amuse her for short periods.