My nine-month-old twins have become extremely vocal in the last couple of weeks. My little girl makes most of the noise but my son is beginning to copy her. She has developed an ear splitting scream and continually blows raspberries. The twins are clearly enjoying communicating in this way, although it does contribute to rather messy mealtimes. It is hard not be amused by my daughter’s animation, and I assume it is just a phase but at what age should I begin to be “responsible” for my babies’ behaviour?
They’re such happy babies that I don’t want to stop them from expressing themselves and being lively, but equally I don’t want to find that in a year’s time their vocalizing has escalated, and I have a real problem with which to contend.
Babyhood lasts a very short time. Before long you realize that one of the most challenging aspects of parenthood is guiding your babies’ social and emotional development. It is exciting watching your babies begin to demonstrate their individuality but the responsibility of nurturing acceptable emotional and social responses is one of the major challenges of parenthood.
Your nine-month-old twins are showing a healthy desire to communicate with each other and with you. Some over-animated vocalizing is not unusual at this stage, but it is sensible to encourage her to communicate in a more effective manner.
Babies quickly learn to repeat actions that gain them attention. Your daughter has discovered her vocal chords and also an effective way to make the adults around her laugh. Her brother’s response will also encourage her. You need to ensure that you are not responding in a way that reinforces her behaviour.
A little mess at mealtimes is unavoidable. Your twins should be learning to feed themselves finger food and to use a spoon where possible. Raspberry blowing at mealtimes is definitely to be discouraged!
The most effective way to nurture a child’s social and emotional development is to give generous praise and attention for good behaviour and ignore less appropriate responses.
Another option is to try to distract your daughter when she begins to screech or blow raspberries. Talk to her about the food she is eating, encouraging and praising her attempts at using a spoon.
By now your twins will be aware of the differences in your voice. They may not understand the words you are saying but they will respond to the tone of your voice. They will love to hear you sounding soothing, amused, encouraging and they will dislike it if you are displeased. If ignoring your daughter’s rowdier behaviour has not been effective try asking her to stop, using the same few words spoken in a lower and firmer tone each time she starts. Make sure you are close to her and able to make eye contact. She won’t understand the words but your tone will tell her that you are no longer impressed or amused with her behaviour. If you respond every time in this way, this phase should begin to fade away. Praise and thank her when she does stop so she learns that it is not she you are displeased with but her behaviour. She will prefer to win your approval rather than your displeasure.
Encouraging the twins to use their newly found vocal skills in other ways is great for their development. Find a picture book of animals that you can all share together. Go through the book and make the noises of each animal. Babies love to copy so they are likely to try to make the sounds too. Get them to “moo” or “cluck” at each other. This will appeal to them much more than the screaming.