How do I stop toy throwing?
My son is two and he is becoming a real terror. He throws his toys and anything else in reach down the stairs (over the gate). I’ve tried a whole variety of tactics – being nice, telling him off firmly, smacking his hand, shouting, confiscating the toys, and even ignoring him. But he’s completely unmoved. In fact, he laughs. The problem is, he’s causing real damage. I think the problem is attention-seeking, as it seems to happen when I’m going to the toilet or getting dressed, but how do I stop it?
There are two simple ways to solve this problem. First, allocate a cupboard or a part of a wardrobe with a lock to store all his toys, particularly the heavy ones. Allow him one or two out at any given time in his bedroom – he can only play with one thing at a time so it isn’t really necessary for the whole of the upstairs to be littered with his toys. If he is only allowed one or two toys out at a time and then made to put them away before he gets any more out, he will start to learn that toys are for playing with, not throwing.
If he then throws the toy he has chosen to play with downstairs, he should be told in a very firm voice that toys are for playing with and not throwing. He should then be made to pick the toy up and place it in the cupboard and told that he can choose another toy to play with when he promises not to throw. Allow a period of 10-15 minutes before allowing him to go to the cupboard again. Be consistent with this approach and do not shout or smack him. In most cases of bad behaviour, it is the lack of consistency in dealing with it that causes the long-term problem.
You also mention that your absence often triggers this behaviour. The second way to deal with the problem is not leave him on his own. It may be controversial but I believe children under the age of three should never be left unsupervised, not even for a minute.
Take him with you to the loo or to get dressed. Not only will it save you picking up toys, but it will ensure he is safe. Sadly every year many thousands of young children suffer serious injury because parents turned their back for just a minute.