Sleeping FAQ: 24+ Months – Early Morning Waking

How do I ensure my two and a half year old son is getting enough sleep now he has dropped his daytime nap?

I am really worried that my two-and-a-half-year-old son is not getting enough sleep and that this is beginning to effect his behaviour. He began to drop his lunch time nap a few weeks ago but is now only averaging eleven hours sleep a night which results in him becoming irritable and grumpy during the late afternoon.

I am finding this difficult since I also have a very active 14-month-old son, and my husband works late which means I am often on my own at bedtime.

How do you increase the amount of time a toddler will sleep for? When he wakes up early, he immediately calls for me, and if I just leave him, he becomes very noisy waking his little brother.

Your two-and-a-half-year old is at that awkward transition stage of still needing more sleep but not being quite tired enough to have a lunchtime nap.

Once your fourteen month old is settled in his cot, you should try to encourage your elder son to have some quiet time, ideally in his bedroom. Initially you will need to invest your own time in doing this, since it will take him a while to get used to ‘quiet time’. Choose some books together, and take him to his room. This can also be a super opportunity for you and your son to have some time together, when you can give him your undivided attention. Look at the pictures or simply lie with him on his bed, giving him a cuddle and telling him a story. It might take two or three weeks to establish this routine, but slowly you will be able to leave him for longer periods to quietly entertain himself. Choose books in the library specifically for ‘quiet time’ or borrow jigsaw puzzles from friends if he enjoys these.

You mention that most nights you are on your own. Your elder son will be exhausted by the time you get him ready for bed so make sure you have a nice long wind-down time.

Go upstairs and start the bedtime routine a little earlier than you normally would; use this time to play quietly in the nursery. Make up a ‘bedtime box’ with some new quiet toys in it that will suit both of your boys. This box should only come out at bedtime.

Try to settle both boys into their cots at the same time, but maybe spend a little longer with your older son, perhaps reading another story or chatting quietly together about what you have done that day, after your youngest boy has gone to bed. This will allow your two-and-a-half-year-old time to wind down and spend some precious one-to-one time with you.

With the early morning waking, a method which works for some children is the ‘magic light’. Buy both boys a new bedtime light with the dimmest bulb in that you can find. You will also need to buy timers for both lights, preferably digital ones since often the manual timers make a loud click every time they move through an hour. Set the lights to the timers, setting the timers to come on 15 minutes before the boys would normally wake up.

The idea is that the light will become their cue that it is time to wake up and get up. If you set it too late in the early days they will just resent the light, but if you set it earlier and they are instantly rewarded by being allowed to see you, then the light will become their friend. Tell your boys they are not allowed to get of their beds or call you until the light is on. If they cry, make a fuss or shout for you, remind them that you are not going to listen/speak to them until the light is on.

Every four days set the light to come on five minutes later until you reach the time they would normally get up.

If they do stay quiet, give the boys plenty of praise and reward them with extra stories and cuddles in your bed in the morning.