Sleeping FAQ: 3-4 Months – Settling/Sleep Associations

I am new to the routines and am trying to get my 11 week daughter to settle better without a dummy

I would like to know a little more about crying down. I have successfully used controlled crying techniques with my older son, when he was a year, but it is recommended by Dr Ferber that these are only used on babies over 5 to 6 months. I have been struggling with my 11 week old daughter for 11 weeks now! She was very colicky (I think), fretful anyway all evening and wouldn’t settle until at least midnight, until very recently, when I think she was no longer in pain and probably just over-tired. I therefore decided to try your routines. Feeding wasn’t a problem as I had her on a regular feeding schedule in any case. Sleeping was more of a problem. She would settle well at the times suggested but needed a dummy to settle her. She also woke 45 minutes after being settled for her lunchtime and night time sleep. When I gave her the dummy 45 minutes after waking from the night sleep she then settled well but I left the dummy with her. I am very conscious of creating sleep association problems, as had happened with my older son, and note that you suggest not letting the baby have the dummy in the cot. I therefore, removed the dummy as she was getting drowsy before she was asleep and she began to cry and continued to do so for a good 30 minutes. She did finally fall asleep, but began crying again after about 45 minutes. Please help – I don’t know whether to leave her or not, and if so how long for? Am I supposed to be going in to her at regular intervals as with controlled crying, or just leave her?

At present she takes 6ozs formula at 7am 12midday, 4pm 7pm and 3am. I have only been using the routines for a day or two.

She naps at 8.30-9.40am, 12.15-2pm and 4-4.30pm. She settles at 8pm.

As you and your daughter are getting used to following the routines it may take her a little time to develop the habit of settling herself to sleep.

“Crying down” is the description of the process a young baby uses for settling herself to sleep. A baby may cry quite loudly when first put down for her nap. If she is well fed, winded and ready to sleep she will gradually settle down, her cries becoming less forceful and intense, gradually subsiding until she is quiet and then sleeps. This may take ten to fifteen minutes with a baby who is used to settling herself. A baby who is overtired and fighting sleep may take up to half an hour to settle herself, but the crying will begin to diminish over this time.

With a baby under the age of six months it is better to check and reassure her every ten minutes. Your checking should be kept to one or two minutes. Pat or stroke her and quietly say, “Sh, sh” so she is aware you are there but she does not become used to another association, such as patting or “shushing”, to settle herself.

A baby of your daughter’s age will have sleep cycles of around 45 minutes. At the end of the cycle she will stir slightly, being in a lighter sleep. If she is used to settling herself without a dummy then she will go back to a deeper sleep within around 10 minutes. A baby who is not used to settling herself to sleep may find it much harder, especially during the lunchtime nap, to get herself back off to sleep. The subject of the lunchtime sleep, and problems which may arise, is discussed in the article Lunchtime Sleep on the website.

To read more about a baby’s sleep, and ways to help a baby settle, look at The Complete Sleep Guide.