Feeding FAQ: 4-6 months – Weaning

How can I manage both children at teatime once my 4-month-old son is on solids?

My 2-year-old daughter is a Contented Little Baby and maintains a routine with a 2 hour nap at lunch time (1pm to 3pm), tea around 5pm, bath and bed 6.30pm to 7pm. I am having difficulty fitting my 4-month-old son’s routine into this, particularly in the 5pm to 7pm slot. Please can you give me some advice on how I can organise his bath (5.30pm), milk (currently at 6pm) and bed (around 6.15pm), and how I can adapt this when he begins solids. Please bear in mind that I am alone for the bath and bedtime routine and so am having to give my son his bath, bottle and bed with a chatty 2 year old in the background and often have to put him in bed and leave the room quickly to prevent her from disturbing him. Also, I note that my son should be awake for at least 10 minutes before I give him his 10.30pm feed and should be awake for 45 minutes in total. When he wakes for this feed, he always cries and is really fretful and I find myself feeding him after 5 minutes as I don’t want him to wake my daughter – do you have any advice for calming him?

Getting two small children fed, bathed and into bed is never very easy, especially when both are tired and so are you. You may have looked at Gina’s routine for a baby and toddler on the website already. This gives you two different suggestions for how to cope alone with a baby and toddler at this time. Having two small children may mean you have to adjust the routines a little to accommodate both their needs.
Now that you son is four months old and a lot more sturdy, you could consider bathing them together. If you are aware that he is really hungry at 6pm you may consider giving him a split feed. By offering him some milk at 5/5.15pm whilst your daughter has her tea you could then bath them both around 6pm. Make sure you have everything you need for your son by the bath: changing mat, nappy and night clothes so you can wash him and get him out to dress him whilst your daughter plays in the bath. As he will have had some milk then he should be content to wait a little on his mat whilst you dry and dress your daughter. Settle her beside you with a book to look at or a video to watch whilst you feed your son the rest of his feed. In the routines written by Gina on the site there are some great suggestions as to how to keep a toddler occupied whilst you settle your baby. Even if not sleepy he may be happy to go into his cot with a nightlight and mirror or book propped down his cot side so you can settle your daughter.
If your son is not so hungry at 6pm and you decide not to split his feed, bath both children at 5.45pm and then feed him as your daughter sits beside you.
Once he begins to have solids he needs to have most of his milk feed first. You may find this easier to do if you give him two thirds of his milk, followed by his solids at 5.30/5.40pm. You will need to move bath time onto nearer 6.30pm and then give him the rest of his milk before settling him at 7pm.

Providing your son is awake enough to feed at 10.30pm then don’t worry about him having to wait ten minutes before feeding. Keeping him awake for 45 minutes to 1 hour is a good idea if he is not sleeping regularly through to 7am. You can do this by feeding him half of his feed as soon as he is awake at 10.30pm and then letting him have a break and quiet kick before changing him and offering the rest of his feed. Once he begins to sleep nearer to 7am every morning begin to cut back this awake time to 30 minutes.