Development FAQ: 24+ months – Behaviour

My six-year-old daughter, Eleanor, has recently started biting her nails. Last week one of the cuticles became quite inflamed, and I was concerned that I would need to take her to the doctor. She has always been quite a “mouthy” child, and even now, despite repeated gentle discouragement, I find her chewing on hair clips or shirtsleeves. I have struggled with nail-biting all my life, but managed to stop when I was in my twenties, and I know how hard it is to break the habit. How can I discourage her from starting at such a young age? She is a very happy, contented child in every other respect, so I don’t think it is anxiety that causes her to bite her nails.

Many children bite their nails. For the majority it does not cause any health problems, but in severe nail-biting, bleeding and infection can occur. Most children will grow out of the habit but it can continue in some children until adolescence and beyond.

Try not to criticise your child for biting her nails. On some level, she is using it as a way to channel her anxiety. If you see her biting her nails, ask if there is anything worrying her. Helping the child to cope with stress is helpful.

One suggestion that sometimes works is to give Eleanor something to feel, such as a smooth, small stone (called a worry stone). Keeping the hands busy while relaxing or watching TV may reduce the tension and nail-biting. Worry stones can be bought or you and your child could look for one together on the beach or maybe in the garden.

One mother told me that she traced the outline of her daughter’s hand each night, and then made a nail chart, giving her a big star and plenty of praise for improvement. Remember how hard you found it to give up, and don’t be impatient with your daughter. Help her to take care of her hands. Perhaps she could have her own pot of hand cream to encourage her to look after her nails.