Sleeping FAQ: 3-4 Months – Settling/Sleep Associations

Is allowing my 3.5-month-old son to use a dummy better or worse than thumb sucking?

My son of 3.5-months-old has developed dummy addiction as he was, and still is, a very sucky baby and is now waking in the night several times. I have read your case study on Harry and feel this is very appropriate but my query is about dummy versus thumb.

My son will now put his thumb in his mouth if his dummy isn’t in and I am wondering if I go cold turkey with the dummy, will thumb sucking will replace the dummy and become a worse long term problem? Everyone I have asked says: “the dummy you can take away, a thumb you can’t”. What is your view on this, as I don’t want to do controlled crying with him if its only going to create another problem later with dental problems from long term thumb sucking? Is a few months of interrupted sleep until he finds the dummy himself better than a thumb sucker that could last for years? Please help; I also don’t feel that his sucking is hunger related as he is gaining sufficient weight and I feel it is more a self-soothing mechanism.

Using a dummy in the first four months can help a sucky baby settle but when a baby becomes dependent on it to sleep, it is better to remove it before long term sleeping problems develop. At his age going “cold turkey” will take less time than in another few months. Nearly all babies will thumb suck at some time. This usually peaks between six and nine months and gradually decreases by the age of a year. Thumb sucking is usually used when tired, as a comforter, or when they are hungry. If you were to take the dummy away from your son, watch him over the next few months and see when he seems most likely to want to use his thumb to comfort himself with. A baby who begins to use his thumb throughout the day, may develop a long term habit. The best method to break this if it is still apparent at a year is to keep him fully occupied as the reason is likely to be boredom. Encouraging lots of physical activity or playing with bricks and shape sorters, will all help to keep him occupied.

The fact that both you and your son are now having interrupted sleep, which could continue for another month or so and become worse if he begins to wake up even more, should be taken into consideration when you decide what to do. Your son will not only begin to associate settling to sleep with his dummy but also with you being there and so you will be trying to break two sleep associations. In a month or so he may find a comforter of some kind, either a toy or piece of cloth which will replace his need for prolonged thumb sucking.