Feeding FAQ: 8-12 weeks – Formula Feeding

I am finding my 8 week old impossible to wake for his 10.30pm feed

We started the programme when my baby was two weeks old and have now been following it for just over five weeks (he is a few days away from 8 weeks). We now have a good structure in the day, he is up between 6.30 and 7am and he feeds well from the breast for approximately 20 to 25 minutes. He then takes a half an hour nap between 8.30am and 10.00am. He then feeds again at 10.00am, 6oz formula (we have been unable to alter this time to the suggested time for his age). After his 10am feed he is quite sleepy and we struggle to keep him awake past 11.30am, so he has an afternoon nap from 11.30am till 1.45pm or 2.00pm. He feeds well at 2.00pm: approximately 20 to 25 minutes on the breast. We then have social time until 4pm, then go out walking where he naps for approximately 30 minutes. At 5pm he feeds well: 4oz of formula [once again we have been unable to stop the split feed as suggested for his age]. After his bath he has approximately 15 minutes on the breast and is down 95% of the time by 7pm.
Our biggest problem is the night time; when we wake him at 10.30pm he is so sleepy – almost impossible to wake. We have tried turning all the lights on, carrying on our conversation in his room in the hope he will wake, changing his nappy, putting him under his play mat. We have even tried, as you suggested, starting at 10pm and trying to keep him awake till 11.15pm but to no avail. He eventually wakes a little to feed but we are only ever able to give him 3oz – this then has the result of his waking at 1.30am to finish the feed. He will then only settle until around 3.30am; he feeds and then is up again at around 5.30am to feed again! For the last couple of nights we have tried not waking him for the 10.30pm feed and have found that he sleeps soundly until around midnight. At midnight he feeds well before settling back down until around 4.30am. He has a small top-up feed at 4.30am and then settle until 7am. When we allow him to wake naturally to feed I find he feeds and then settles back to sleep very quickly. If we wake him at 10.30pm, he has his small feed but then is awake a few hours later, is very difficult to settle back to sleep and he seems to get more difficult to settle each time he is up (which is every two hours). I have tried cutting back the 5pm/6pm feed but have found that he will not settle by 7pm if I do.
What should be do with regards to the 10.30pm feed? At present it is far easier for us to avoid it – as getting up twice in the night is preferable to three times and he is easy to settle when he is up. However going forward we don’t want it to be habit and still be getting up to feed in months to come.
He now weighs 13lbs. He is breast fed at 7am, 2pm, 6.15pm, 12md and 4.30am. He takes 6ozs formula at 10am and 4ozs at 5pm.
He naps at 9-9.30am 11.30-2pm and 4-4.30pm.

As you have found a way to stop your son from waking so much in the night you now need to build on this and very gradually move things back so he begins to have a longer and longer stretch in the middle of the night rather than between 7pm and midnight.
To do this set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier than you think he is liable to wake (if you have decided to sleep before midnight). By waking him about 10-15 minutes earlier than he does naturally, he should still be hungry and will wake properly enough to feed. After 4-5 days of doing this, providing he still then settles until 4.30am, move him back another 10-15 minutes. It will mean a time of rather broken sleep or long evenings for you, but it should help him readjust to having a good feed about 10.30/11pm rather than later. Once this earlier time is reached you may decide to make this a formula feed again and get an early night, expressing before you do so.
If things begin to go wrong again before getting back to 10.30/11pm then continue to wake him at the time you have reached for a few more days before beginning again to push him back.
In respect of the other points raised be guided by your son’s needs as well trying to get him onto the routine recommended for his age. The 10am feed can be moved forward gradually in the same way as described above. Wait 5-10 minutes longer every few days before giving to him. Some babies of this age do need it early for a while longer, so push things gradually and he will mature in time to be able to wait a little longer for it.
Again the split feed at 5/6pm often is needed for longer. Some babies may be 12- 14 weeks before being able to get to 6pm. It is far better to continue with it as a split feed than have a discontented, hungry baby who does not enjoy his bath because he is too hungry. Use the routines as guide to work towards but also take your own son’s needs which may mean he stays on the routine stated as younger than his age until he is ready to move on.