Sleeping FAQ: 8-12 Weeks – Other

My daughter is unsettled during the morning and evening at 8 weeks old

Although my daughter feeds at the approx times stated in the book, I find sleep in the day a bit hit and miss. She is very awake in the morning and does not settle well for her morning sleep; she cat naps and does not like being in her cot in the day. Because of this she is very tired and therefore she is only lasting to approx 11-11.30 am when has a good sleep. She then wakes any time from 1pm onwards, having a knock-on effect that she sleeps again at 3 not 4pm. Due to us having a 2 year old as well, it is not possible to do 2 bath times so we have moved his back and doing it at 6.15pm. She is very unsettled in the early evening; she is not always crying but wants to be cuddled or suck on the dummy to sleep. We then put her down and she wakes up any time from straightaway to 15 minutes later, resulting in her bedtime being any where from 8pm until her next feed at 10.30pm. She does not go to sleep on her own. I have tried pick up/put down, the dummy and then removing it when she is nearly asleep. I have left her to cry twice for 1/2 an hour to try and teach her to sleep on her own once in the evening and once for her morning sleep, but was not sure how long was too long to leave her and whether it was too early at her age to do this. After her 10.30pm feed she goes straight to sleep, and I can put her down from her night feed. Sometimes she is still awake and she goes to sleep on her own. How can I make her more independent to sleep on her own so we can have more of our evenings back? I do not want the same problem I had with my two year old who had to be rocked to sleep and patted down till he was 1, it was not until we left him to cry for over an hour that he now goes to sleep with no problems. Is she too young for this yet?
At present she feeds at 7am 5-6 oz, 10-11am 5-6 oz, 1.30-2pm 5-6oz, 5pm 3oz, 6.45pm 6oz, 10.30pm 4-6 oz. 2-4am 4-6oz. She weighs over 13lbs.
My daughter naps at 9-9.30am, 11.30-1.30/2pm and 3-4/4.30pm.

As you are coping with a 2 year old as well it may help you to look at the routineGina has devised for mothers of toddlers and a new baby, if you have not already done so.

As your daughter finds it hard to settle to sleep in the morning try taking her out with your son for a walk around 8.45am. She may well settle better in her pram for an hour and you can give your son some time outside, which he will probably love! Although you may feel there is a lot to do in the house at this time, it can work well for both the baby and toddler to be outside first thing. Your daughter may be overtired at this time in the morning and also in the evening and is fighting sleep. She is still very young and may need nearer to an hour than a 45 minute nap at this time. Many babies do. The routine times are ones to be worked towards, taking your own babies needs into account. If you are not planning on going out first thing try settling her 15 minutes earlier than you have been doing and see if she is better at falling asleep alone.

It can take a while for a baby to learn how to settle alone. With a toddler around it is not always easy to give the baby a proper wind-down time before sleep. If you need to take your toddler with you when putting her down make him a “surprise bag” which he is given only at these times to keep him quietly amused by the door or just outside her room. Find small cheap toys and change them often so he is kept occupied and you can concentrate on the baby. After changing her, make her room dark and swaddle her if she is still is being swaddled or put her in her sleeping bag. Hold her close to you but keep eye contact to the minimum. Some mothers like to use a dummy at this time to help their baby calm down before sleep but remove it before fully asleep. Once she is relaxed in your arms and heavy eyed, put her in her cot and tuck her in well using a cotton sheet lengthways across her and secured with two rolled towels down each side of the cot spars. She may complain for 5-10 minutes before settling to sleep. This is totally normal and you should leave her to settle herself if she can. If her crying becomes more and more agitated then pick her up and try again to calm her. A baby of this age should not be left to cry for longer than about 15 minutes maximum without you reassuring her. If she is overtired and going down too late she will fight sleep and will be harder to settle so do keep an eye on the time before this morning nap.

Although your daughter appears to be feeding well and taking the right amount for her weight, her unsettled evenings could well be due to hunger as well as being over tired. Again, not easy with two, but try to get her out of the bath and feeding well before 6.30pm. She may need to be in her cot by 6.45pm. If she is still awake, well winded and quiet, and you are dealing with your son, put her in her cot with a light on low and let her look at a mobile or a book tucked down the side whilst you settle him. If she is unable to settle to sleep after 10-15 minutes offer her a small top-up feed to see if hunger is the cause of her being unsettled.

Again let her try to settle alone for 10-15 minutes but then go in to reassure her. Once you are sure that hunger is not the cause, nor is she overtired, you can leave her 10-15 minutes to settle herself. Then go in and reassure her for a minute, try not to pick her up again unless she is becoming very upset, in which case hold her until she is calm and sleepy again. It can take a few nights of this reassuring after 10-15 minutes several times before a baby of this age learns to fall asleep alone. If you can get you baby to sleep longer in the morning by taking her for a walk, the knock-on effect should be her going down nearer to 11.45am for her lunchtime nap and her being able to stay awake for a little longer in the afternoon. Too much sleep in the afternoon can also cause evening wakefulness. As she gets older she will be able to stay awake better when you are out with her in the afternoon as many babies of this age tend to fall asleep quickly once in their pram.