Sleeping FAQ: 8-12 Weeks – Daytime Sleep

My 11.5-week-old daughter will settle for her daytime naps but wakes after 30-45minutes and is hard to settle again

I have already been given a pretty detailed response by the Team about my daughter and her not wanting to sleep in the day. I have followed this but the advice unfortunately did not work fully, very frustrating!
Certainly the advice on wind down was of some help and she will go down now but wake up after 30 minute or sometimes 45 minutes at every nap.  For the morning nap I take her for a walk in the pram and she sleeps just fine, coming round after 30 minutes but after a couple of minutes of looking around she goes back to sleep (as long as I keep walking that is!). The lunchtime nap is a nightmare –I put her down after wind down, she wakes up after 30 minutes so I have tried a top up feed (40mls, even tried more – 70ml) either before she goes down or when she wakes up at 12.30. She basically just bawls her eyes out when she wakes up. She is not interested in my going in to sssh sssh her to calm her – she just cries even louder when I go in and I end up walking out with her in an even worse state than when I went in there. I have left her many times for up to an hour, today I left her for 30mins and she stopped crying but then started up again after 15 minutes (I went in after another 25 minutes of crying). Previously I let her sleep in the lounge as I was getting nowhere in the nursery but that does not seem to work now either (unless I am at my sisters house – she seems to like noise around her?). I have totally blacked out her room
My daughter sleeps perfectly at night – wakes up once or twice (4am or 2.30/5am). It can take me an hour to feed and get her back down though as she seems to wake right up.

At present my daughter feeds at 7.15am 100-140mls, not very hungry at this feed. 10.15am 100-140mls, hungry for this feed and not able to wait until 10.45am. 2.30pm 80-120mls, the amount varies depending how well she has slept at lunchtime as she can be sleepy. Woken at 3pm to be given more. 6.15pm 120-170mls Just dropped the split feed at 5/6pm as my daughter seemed happy to wait until after her bath for this feed. 10.30pm 120-170mls, 3am 60-100mls. She weighs 11lbs10ozs.

My daughter naps at 9-9.45am, 12-12.30pm 1-1.30pm, 4.30-5pm. She settlers by 6.40pm.

Your daughter has now learned how to fall asleep but, not yet, how to stay asleep. It can take a while for a baby to become used to surfacing from light sleep and settling back again. As you have found, she is able to do this whilst out in her pram. If you look on the website at the Lunchtime Sleep article you will see that you need to do the same thing persistently for at least a week to ten days, to change the pattern of sleep and “reset” her cycles. Keep going with the walk in the morning to help her get used to sleeping for this nap.

Rather than offering your daughter a top up when she wakes, consistently offer it to her before she goes down at lunchtime, even if you feel she took a good feed at 10.15am. This morning feed seems to be her hungry time of day, and as she is taking it over an hour before going down for her nap, a top up will make sure she really is taking all she needs. Watch that she is not getting too tired before this nap: bringing it forward by 10-15 minutes might help as being less exhausted may means she sleeps better.

Are you still tucking her in firmly with a sheet? Even if she is in a sleeping bag it helps if she is tucked in. Secure the sheet or cotton blanket with two rolled towels so it is tucked well down the cot sides. The Moro reflex is still present in a baby of this age and she may startle herself awake when in a light sleep.

Dealing with her every lunchtime can be draining. When she wakes leave her for 10 minutes to see if she will settle back again. If, by that time, her crying is becoming more insistent then you must go in to reassure her. It is inadvisable to leave a baby this young crying for long periods. She needs the reassurance that you are there for her. If she is very distressed then you need to pick her up and calm her down. A baby who is settling back to sleep may be able to do so with a gentle “shush”, but one who is very upset must be calmed down first. You need to keep going in to her about every 10-15 minutes to reassure her, rather than leaving her for longer periods of time.

If you have given her a top up feed and know that hunger is not her problem then you need to decide how you will settle her back again. You can try the “crying down “ method, which is explained above, but it would seem in your daughter’s case she really cannot yet get herself back to sleep and so still needs some assistance. Some mothers decide to hold their baby to sleep for the lunchtime nap rather than walk with them for two hours. This is explained in the “Sleep Training” section of the Lunchtime Nap article. Whatever you decide to do, it will have to be for at least a week or more, every single lunchtime, to help your daughter become used to sleeping for a longer amount of time.

As your daughter has always found it hard to sleep well in the daytime it would be worth considering following one of these methods for two weeks, rather than have every lunchtime spent listening to her crying.

Until her lunchtime nap is the full two hours feed her earlier, at 2pm, and allow her to have half an hour’s sleep at 2.30-3pm and another half hour at 4.30pm. This will help her not to get overtired by 6.30pm.

Although you feel your daughter is happy now to wait until 6.15pm for a full feed Gina does suggest keeping the split feed in at 5pm/6pm until a baby has slept from the 10pm feed to 7am for at least one week. The reason for this is that by splitting the feed the baby will have a smaller amount at 6.30pm and so be ready to have a good feed by 10pm. This feed can also be split and your baby kept up longer at this time to help her sleep better and settle in the night. See page 138 of the Contented Little Baby.

Many babies can be sleepy at 10pm and take a time to wake up properly for this feed.  Begin stirring her at 9.45pm, by putting on the lights and undoing her coverings and sleeping bag if she uses one. Make sure she is fully awake before feeding her. Do this in a well-lit room with some background noise. Give her about two thirds of her formula and then let her have some quiet kicking time. Babies under the age of four months do need a time awake between 7pm and 7am so it is better to encourage her to have it now rather than later in the night. One good thing about splitting this feed is that her father gets to see her for a time, especially if he is out working long hours. If he is willing to do this whole feed then you can get yourself off to bed earlier and so be better able to cope in the night. At 11.15pm your daughter should be changed and then offered the rest of her feed in a dimmed room, so she is able to settle down to sleep as soon as she has finished. Make this feed in two bottles as there is over an hour between each one.

When you feed her in the night, keep everything as quiet and dark as possible. Only change her nappy if it is really necessary. If she is still sleeping in your room at night feed her close to her cot so you put her straight back down when she has finished. If she is in a separate room from you, feed her there; again, close to the cot so you disturb her as little as possible.

If you are aware that your daughter is cutting back on her 7am feed you could begin to cut back very gradually on the amount she has in the night. If she begins to have a good split feed at 10pm/11pm she may well be able to settle with 60-80mls each night. Cut back slowly, no more than 20mls every few days. If you are feeding her at 5am and she is genuinely hungry, give her a top up at 7.30am to get her through to 10.30am.

It may take another few weeks for your daughter to learn how to sleep better in the day, but it is well worth persevering, providing you also ensure she is feeding well and going down to sleep tired but not exhausted. The two words to remember are consistency and persistency. Keep doing the same thing every day, in the same way, so your daughter learns how to sleep through her cycles of lighter sleep.