Sleeping FAQ: 8-12 weeks – Night Waking

I feel my 11.5 week baby does not need a night feed but she is unable to settle back with out a dummy. What should I do?

My 11 and a half week old baby has gone through the night without feeds a couple of times, I had suspected she did not need them for a while as I was only giving a couple of ounces and she was cutting back on her 7am feed.
However, she has now started waking in the night again and the only way I seem to be able to resettle her is to give the dummy. I have tried water which does work but then she wakes again 10 minutes later. With the dummy I have to give it a number of times before she finally gets off.
What can I do? Should I just let her cry? Or should I go back to feeding her. She never has had the dummy at night before, however I have always given her one to settle herself for daytime naps – I don’t know any other way. She does usually spit it out fairly quickly though and is fine.
I am really worried I am creating (or have already created) a dummy dependency that will mean I am up and down all night every night but I don’t know how to break the habit without leaving her to cry.
For the day naps, I have just started using the dummy to settle her but then removing it when I put her in the cot….. But this doesn’t work at night.
Just for information, I cannot get her to have the full lunchtime nap whatever I try, so I give her half hour after her 2pm feed, and another half hour at 4.30.
My daughter feeds at 7am 6ozs, 10.30am 7ozs, 2pm 6ozs, 5pm 6ozs, 6.30pm 2ozs and 11pm 6ozs. She weighs 12lbs 2ozs.

She naps at 9-9.45am, 11.50-12.50pm, 2.40-3.05pm and 4.30-5pm. She settles at 7pm.

As your daughter has only slept through the night on two occasions and is coming up to her twelfth week a growth spurt could be taking place. Before a baby sleeps through the night completely there may be a period of some nights when she does manage to go without a feed, and some nights when she still needs a small feed to get her through. By offering her water first, even if she only settles for a short while she will still cut down on the amount of milk she needs to get her to sleep until nearer 7am.

Look at page 149 of The Contented Little Baby Book to see Gina’s full explanation of how to cut down on this feed when your baby is ready. Also look at pages 147-8 which explains about the “core night” and giving your baby water to drink when she wakes during the night, so that she will eventually be able to sleep between 7pm and 7am.

Once you are sure that hunger is not the reason for your daughter’s waking it will take a little time and perseverance to teach her how to settle again. It is better to use water and a cuddle rather than introducing the dummy which may become an added problem and harder to get rid of as your daughter gets bigger. Although she spits it out at present she could begin to start relying on it more and be unable to sleep without sucking on it.

Structuring her daytime feeds a little differently could also help. Begin to cut back the amount you give her at 5pm and add it to the 6.15pm bottle. This will help fill her up for the night. At present she is receiving the main part of this feed at 5pm. Many babies are able to wait until nearer 6.15pm by this age, and have the whole feed after their baths. You may need to move towards this gradually, dropping her 5pm bottle by an ounce every few days and increasing the bedtime feed accordingly. If she is unable to wait until after her bath then still feed her at 5pm but with a much smaller feed, so she takes most of the feed at 6.15pm.

If your daughter takes a good feed at 6.15pm and again at 11pm she should be able to get through the night without needing another feed.

If she does stir at night, offer her water first and then a cuddle before settling her back in her cot. Make sure she is well tucked in. Listening to a baby cry at night can be harder than during the day so work on getting her used to settling herself in the daytime without the need of a dummy. This will make it easier for you to know she is capable of doing so at night time as well.

To prevent this problem escalating it would be sensible to work on getting rid of the dummy at all daytime naps. Begin to limit the use of the dummy to calm her down but removing it before she is sleepy. Make sure her room is really dark in the daytime and that she is well tucked in, which will prevent her from stirring too much when in a light sleep. You may need to use rolled up towels down the cot sides to anchor the sheet or place a blanket lengthways across her. Give her a wind down time of around 10 minutes in her room after you have changed her and she is ready to nap. This may include singing a quiet song to her or letting her watch from the window for a few minutes before you pull the blinds and curtains. If you do not already have a lullaby light on her crib then consider getting one so she begins to associate the sound with sleeping.

If you have had troubles getting her to settle for a longer lunchtime nap begin to cut back a little on the morning nap. Cut this down to around 30 minutes by waking her five minutes earlier every few days.

You could also offer your daughter a small top up feed before she goes down at 11.50am to see if she is then able to sleep for at least two hours. If she does stir after 45 minutes to an hour leave her for ten minutes to see if she is able to settle herself again. She may cry but, providing you check and reassure her every ten minutes, you are helping her to learn this valuable skill of resettling herself without the need of a dummy. If she is really unable to settle for a longer lunchtime nap then continue to offer her two short afternoon naps to prevent her from becoming overtired.

Once you feel more confident about her being able to settle in the daytime you will find it easier at night time as well.