Sleeping FAQ: 6-9 Months – Settling/Sleep Associations

I am having problems putting my nearly 7 month old baby to sleep in the evenings

My baby who is almost 7 months has been following the routines for 3 weeks. I have almost got him doing the day time routines, but have tried bathing him at 5 30 pm and bottle at 6pm but he still falls asleep before he has taken half of his feed. I therefore have to wake him to finish his bottle. Then he is awake so when I try to put him down in his cot and he then screams until 9pm. Occasionally I have given in and rocked him to sleep. Sometimes he has fallen asleep crying. I have tried controlled crying but he gets worse if I walk out the room. I have also tried bathing him later at about 6 30pm but he still falls asleep and I have to wake him. As a baby he would always go to sleep on his bottle and I would put him down with no problems. I recently had him diagnosed with silent reflux and during that time I had him in bed with me as he was not drinking enough so would wake him at 10pm to feed him. Now he wants me all the time.

My son feeds at 7am 4ozs, he sometimes only takes fruit at breakfast as he does not like cereal. 8am 20z or the rest of his bottle. 11am 4-5ozs milk, followed by chicken casserole, two small yoghurts. 3pm 4-5ozs, sometimes 6-7ozs. 5pm vegetable variations followed by yoghurt and fruit. 6pm 7ozs.

My son naps at 9-9.45am and 1-3pm.

As your son is still getting used to the routines you will need to adjust his daytime naps a little so he is not so tired by 6pm. Move his lunchtime nap back to 12.30pm and allow him two hours, then encourage him to have a short cat nap at 4.30/4.45pm until 5pm. This is probably best taken whilst he is out in his buggy. This short nap should help him get to 5.30pm for his bath and then be ready to have his feed at 6pm.

If this does not help within a few days of trying you may have to split your son’s bedtime feed a little. You could try offering him 3-4 ozs of his feed at 5.45pm then bathing him around 6.15pm. Once bathed he should be able to finish the second half of his feed before becoming sleepy.

During the second half of the first year a baby’s need for sleep does change. The morning nap needs to pushed on towards 9.30am and be limited to 30minutes. This will gradually move the lunchtime nap on to 1pm. Until your son is able to get through the afternoon without a short nap, and not being so tired at 6pm, it would be better to stay with the earlier nap times of 9-9.30/9.45am and 12.30-2.30pm with the opportunity to have a short nap later in the afternoon.

You will need to wean your son off the habit of associating his bottle and your presence with sleep. Give him his 6pm feed in a bright room with some background noise. As soon as he shows signs of getting sleepy, with heavy eyes, remove the bottle from his mouth. He may cry and protest a little but this will help him stay awake to finish it. As he is sleeping on his 6pm bottle, even if only for a short while, it is taking the edge off his tiredness and then he will fight settling again until exhausted.

Your son needs to get used to falling asleep alone, without the prop of his bottle or you, especially at this time of day. This may involve some crying but, if his daytime need for sleep is structured properly, it should not take him too long to learn how to settle alone.

Try to get him into his cot whilst he is still awake, rather than asleep. If he does not already have a lullaby light on his cot, using a CD of soothing music every night may help him. Make sure you follow a simple bedtime ritual in the same way each evening. This may be saying goodnight to his teddies and then to him; singing him the same song every night and tucking him up in a certain way. All these simple actions will help him realize that it is time to sleep. It may take him several nights to get used to settling alone but it should not involve long periods of crying.

If he does cry when you put him down, leave him for 5-10 minutes before reassuring him. It is better if you can do this without taking him from his cot. Stroking his head or making “shsh” sounds will reassure him that you have not abandoned him, but you are still allowing him to fall asleep alone. Leave him another 5-10minutes and then repeat this stroking and “shsh-ing”. Until he is more used to falling asleep without you as a prop, it is better that you reassure him on a regular basis rather than leaving him to cry for longer and longer periods.

Controlled crying should only be used as a last resort, when all the other factors have been eliminated. Take a look at Gina’s Complete Sleep Guide which deals with sleeping and settling problems in great detail. It includes specific instructions as to how to carry out controlled crying. You should always have your baby checked by your doctor before beginning this kind of sleep training.