Sleeping FAQ: 4-6 Months – Other

Thea (5 months) is a brilliant sleeper, as long as it is at home in her cot

I follow the routines to the letter. At home we have the perfect child – she is five months old and eats exactly what and when she should, sleeps exactly when and for as long as she should. My problem now is the inflexibility. She will not sleep anywhere but in a moving car/pram (as all babies do) or in her cot in her dark room. I have never used rocking/pushing pram etc to get her to sleep. Once I put her in her cot, I never pick her up again. I put her down and she normally cries herself to sleep in a minute or two. My husband and I switched from dinners to lunches out when Thea came along and that has worked well until recently. The last four times she has screamed. We have had to leave restaurants so as not to disturb everyone else. We’ve let her cry at friends’ houses but that doesn’t end up being fun for anyone. Today I let her cry for an hour and then picked her up to find she was bright red and boiling hot. She’s not a baby that gives up. She doesn’t tire from screaming, she just loses her voice and stops to catch her breath occasionally. Having no social life is not good for my marriage. Please, please help. She’s so good at following your rules.

Every baby is different and some adapt to sleeping away from home better than others. By Thea’s age babies are far more aware of their surroundings. When they are in a place unfamiliar to them, even if they are in their own pram, they will fight sleep.
Using the pram whilst out is still possible and a small amount of rocking or pushing done from time to time should not cause her a major sleep association, if that is all it needs to get her to settle. Babies do thrive on routine but the occasional change should have no long term effect. Many mothers find that draping a blanket over the pram helps as it cuts out any visual stimulation which will stop a baby from falling asleep. Very small babies are very transportable and will usually settle anywhere but Thea now wants to see more of the world when out.
On the day you wish to eat out at lunchtime, let Thea have a slightly longer morning nap so she is not overtired when you arrive at the restaurant and may be content to lie in her pram looking around to begin with before falling asleep. Although you may feel as if your social life is being curtailed by her sleep needs, it just needs some adjustments. You may have to alter the time you go out a little, perhaps eating earlier or later than you have been used to in the last few months, so she is still able to have a lunchtime nap. As Thea continues to grow, her needs will change and as parents you have to make changes to your life so she remains a contented baby. Babies grow up quickly. While you may need to accept not eating out at lunchtime so much for a while, this stage will pass and before long Thea will be enjoying lunchtimes out with you.
When you wish to visit friends, try to make those visits during times of the day when Thea is awake. Arrive by 2.30pm so she can sleep in the car or pram on the way and will be ready for her feed on arrival. She will enjoy the stimulation of being somewhere new when she is not tired. Either return home before her bath and bedtime or wait until after 7pm when she will settle in the car and can be transferred to her cot once home.