Sleeping FAQ: 12-18 Months – Night Waking

My 13mth daughter has recently dropped her morning nap, she has now begun to wake in the late evening and become very distressed.

I was wondering whether there were any associations between dropping the morning nap and coming into light sleep at 11pm.

My 13m girl who, apart from a cry-down before she goes to sleep, has always been a good sleeper and has to be woken from most naps and in the mornings, has for the last month or so, fought or had just 10minute morning nap, followed by a proper nap of 1 1/2hr at 1/1.30pm. Within the last week she has not napped at all in the morning at all.

She’s bright, alert and active during the day and is also a very good size for her age. Because she’s dropped this nap I have been allowing her to sleep a little later to 7:30am so she wakes naturally, as opposed to waking her up at 7am, so that she can last a little longer in the morning. She makes it through to 1pm quite happily and actually goes down easier than she used to. She sleeps for 1 1/2hrs but had 2hrs the other day; although I’m not sure whether this is too much sleep. She won’t sleep if I put her down at 12.30 or does just 45minutes. I also don’t have the opportunity to put her down until 1pm.

However, within the last couple of days when myself or my husband quietly checked on her before we went to bed (10-11pm) she woke up as soon as we tiptoed into the room. She then started screaming. I laid her back down which she can do herself anyway, gave her blanky bear and left the room. The screaming then became hysterical to the point when she started sobbing uncontrollably so I went back into her to give her water, nurofen (just in case), wipe her nose, etc. She was shaking so much I picked her up to calm her down; put her back in her cot and then the screaming started again. This went on until about 1am. And the same thing happened again last night. Her 1st molars are now though so I don’t think it is teething and she’s well at the moment. She’s also started taking longer to settle in the evenings going to sleep more around 7:30pm plus for the last month separation anxiety has become quite bad (I don\’t work). She’s in a growbag too. What should I do? I’m generally quite firm for her and our own good but can’t force her to nap if she doesn’t want to. Prolonged screaming at night turns her into a terrible shaking sobbing mess so that she can’t resettle herself. Have you heard of this before or do you think it is just a phase in her development (my first never did this).

My daughter has breakfast at 8am eating 1 weetabix/porridge mixed with 3ozs milk and banana, toast and drinks 4ozs milk.

Mid-morning she takes little sandwiches/ cheese/ fruit/ yoghurts and water.

12 midday lunch is either chicken, vegetable pasta, risotto etc. She will eat anything, and takes quite a bit too.
3pm, 3-4ozs formula and snack of baby biscuit, cereal finger food, toast, banana etc.

5pm, dinner which is the same as the rest of the family such as shepherds pie, mild lamb tangine, couscous, cheesy vegetable pasta etc. Desserts of fruit, yoghurt etc.

My daughter naps at 1-2.30pm. She settles at 7/7.30pm.

The kind of waking you describe could be due to over tiredness. At her age your daughter is probably becoming quite active during the day: crawling, pulling herself up on the furniture and cruising. It is easy for her to become overtired. In the evening your daughter partially wakes from a very deep sleep. This type of “night terror” typically happens in the first half of the night. Her body may be active but her mind is not.

Your daughter may not be aware of your presence as she is not fully awake. Although your immediate reaction is to pick her up when she is screaming hysterically, to try and calm her down, it actually can make the situation worse. The best way is to stay close to her and reassure her with your voice. Her terror may last about ten to twenty minutes and then she should settle back down to sleep by herself as soon as it has passed. If you stay close to the cot you can see when a terror is coming to an end. Then you can reassure her and tuck her back down to sleep. Try not to wake her completely as she then may have difficulty in returning to sleep. Toddlers and small children will have no recollection of their terrors.

To try and prevent this happening on a regular basis put your daughter to bed slightly earlier, even though you have noticed she doesn’t settle straight away. Aim to have her in her cot by 6.45pm and see if she then settles herself down to sleep around 7pm.

As your daughter seems to be disturbed by you coming into her room between 10-11pm try going in half an hour earlier, when she may be in a less deep sleep. If terrors begin to happen frequently some experts suggest gently rousing your child 10-15 minutes before the usual time it occurs. Then you settle your child back to sleep within 5 minutes. Other experts argue that this could cause problems if your child wakes fully and refuses to go back to sleep. If you feel that her terrors are becoming very frequent ask the advice of your doctor. Gina discusses night terrors on page 168 of Contented Baby to Confident Child where there is also a helpful case study.

Now that your daughter has dropped her morning nap you may have to juggle a little with her lunchtime nap to find the right length. If she has had a very active morning she may need nearer to two hours whereas on quieter days 1.5 hours may be sufficient.