Sleeping FAQ: 0-8 weeks – Settling/Sleep Associations

At 6 weeks my son cries before his naps and also if he wakes during them

My son does a lot of sleep-related crying. He is fine when feeding and during activity (even when in his cot) but when it is ready for a nap/sleep we take him to his room, switch off the lights and close the blind he starts to cry. He cries and cries if left in the cot (for half an hour with no sign of letting up) so I hold him until he calms down, which takes about 20 minutes. We then put him in the cot where he might sleep. If he wakes up we have to start the process again, sometimes this lasts his entire sleep period.

If he wakes during his sleep (sometimes possets, sometimes burps, rest of the time no idea what is the problem), we have the same problem and have to calm him before he will sleep again, which takes 10-30 minutes.  At the end of his sleep he sometimes wakes up cranky and cries before being fed.

We do not think that he is in pain because he will drop off to sleep eventually. The health visitor doesn’t seem interested at addressing the problem until we get to three or four months. We would like to stop him getting so distressed, get more sleep and make nap times in particular less of a chore.

At present he is breastfed, taking 45minutes on the breast at 7am, 10am 2pm and 5pm. He feeds for 10-20 minutes at 6.15pm. At 10pm he takes 4ozs formula (he won’t take more) and feeds for 10-30 minutes at 3am. He weighs 11lbs. At present he naps at 8.45-9.30am, 11.30-1.30pm and 4-4.30pm. He is settled by 7pm.

It would seem that your son is getting overtired and so fighting sleep when put down. A baby of this age may stay awake for up to two hours but many are ready to settle well before this. This is quite normal and as he grows he will be able to cope with being awake for slightly longer periods. Some babies of six weeks may only manage an hour or an hour and quarter.

Although your son may not be showing the signs of tiredness take him to his room at least 15 minutes before his usual nap time. Take this time to wind down. Sit with him quietly in a darkened room and let him learn how to relax before falling asleep. If you swaddle him at naps and sleep times do this before you start wind down time. It can take a baby of this age at least 20 minutes to go from being awake to being ready to sleep. He may protest at first but if you hold him against you, with no eye contact and remember to relax yourself he will learn how to calm down. Some mothers like to use a dummy at this stage as it helps their baby to calm enough to become sleepy. It may take a few attempts for your son to learn how to hold a dummy in his mouth, but used just for calming it can be helpful with a baby who finds relaxing to sleep difficult. Sitting in a comfortable chair will help you, as a young baby can sense tension and anxiety in others and so remain tense and unsettled themselves. If this whole winding down process starts too late, at the time when he needs to be asleep your son will begin to fight and fuss so lengthening the time he takes to settle and then sleeping more fitfully.

Look at the question and answer on page 86 of The New Contented Little Baby Book which describes this in detail.

You will not be cuddling your baby into a deep sleep but helping him become sleepy and so able to settle himself down to sleep. As he gets more able to do this himself you can begin to put him down when more awake than sleepy. It may take another few weeks before he is ready to do this. He may cry once you put him into his cot, but provided he is well-fed, winded and not over-tired he will settle himself within ten to twenty minutes of fussing and crying. Leaving a baby to cry persistently for any longer than this at this age is not advised.

In The Complete Sleep Guide Gina writes about crying down, which is how an over-tired or over-stimulated baby finally settles to sleep. See page 39. The more over-tired a baby is the more they will fight sleep so making sure you start the process early enough should help your son become more settled and able to sleep through his nap times.

If your son is happy to lie on his back after feeds, and does not seem in pain either during or after a feed you may find using gripe water or Infacol could help him have less disruption in his sleep. As he grows he should find it easier to bring his wind up and not be so bothered by it. If you feel that the problems he has with wind and possetting are not improving as he gets bigger then ask your doctor to check him over for any gastric problems.

The amount of formula feed your son is taking at 10pm is adequate for his needs. Providing he is settling well afterwards and getting to 3am before needing to be fed again he should not be forced to take any more. He will still need to feed in the night for a few more weeks yet. The time he wakes for this feed may gradually push on but unless he is beginning to lose interest in his feed at 7am let him feed for as long as he likes when he wakes in the night. Again, if he settles back to sleep again quickly and is not waking until 7am or having to be woken at this time, the amount he is taking is sufficient for his needs.