My seven week old won’t settle
Please could I have your advice about my 7 week old daughter and sleeping? We have been trying to apply your routines from about two weeks but seem to be struggling to get things established. Though to begin with she would settle if put in her moses basket dozy, she now will not. We have tried all sorts of shushing, rocking, jiggling etc and when we can get her to settle, she wakes and cries 10 minutes after being settled. During the day she will sleep in her bouncy chair, and she will also sleep in the car, but the moses basket/dark room means she just screams. Last night she did not settle at all until 3.00am when my husband took her out in the car in desperation. We have also stopped swaddling and moved to a sleeping bag which seems to be no better or worse. We used controlled crying technique on my older daughter (now two and a half) very successfully, but she was much older (4/5 months) I now feel we have no option but to do this with Megan but I am concerned that at just 7 weeks she is too young for it to work. I would be grateful for your thoughts or advice as we are now finding it very difficult to cope with so little sleep! To give you a little more background – Megan is being breastfed, was 7lbs 10oz at birth and at 6 weeks was 11lbs 8oz, so is gaining weight very well. As for her daytime routine, I am trying to stick to your routine but she like us is so exhausted that every day seems to go awry and is rarely the same as the day before. She is so difficult to settle to sleep that her lunchtime sleep, for example, instead of being 2-2.5 hours is more like 20 or 30 minutes.
I look forward to your reply.
Many thanks
Cathy
Controlled crying should not be used with a baby under the age of six months. Sleeping in a darkened room seems to be at the bottom of this problem. Your daughter has grown used to some kind of external factor, whether the car or you rocking her to fall asleep and wakes to find that factor has stopped.
Would it be possible to move her to her big cot? A baby of this size will be now be quite a tight fit in a Moses basket. Possibly as she settles and moves her arms she is hitting the sides and disturbing herself. As this keeps happening she gets crosser, cries harder and knocks the sides more so, keeping herself awake and becoming over-tired.
If she can go into a cot, put some kind of musical mobile or lullaby light on the side which she can begin to associate with calming down. Some on the market play for at least 15 minutes which allows the baby to really unwind and calm themselves so falling asleep is easier.
A dimmer switch would also help as you could gradually lower the light level over a number of days until she is more accustomed to sleeping in the dark.
Try dealing with the night-time problem first, which seems to be getting her used to settling on her own in the dark. Make sure the bathtime routine is as calm and happy as possible. Then watch her very closely for the first signs of tiredness, or when she has been awake for an hour and a half. Take her into her room to calm her before sleep. Give her the final breastfeed quietly in her dimly-lit room.
Some babies do cry when they go down. If you know she is well fed and winded and has been awake for a length of time she will be tired, but not over-tired. Sit with her quietly for a few minutes and put her into her cot when she is calm rather than sleepy. Put on her mobile or lights, reduce the dimmer to a reasonable level and leave the room. If she begins to cry, leave her for 10 minutes before going in to reassure her. Try to do this without picking her up and only stay a few minutes before leaving again. It may take her a good few nights, possibly even a week or more to get used to settling alone. She has to learn how to fall asleep from being wide awake without external help from motion, rocking etc. If the crying begins to decrease just leave her. It can often take 20 minutes for some babies to calm down and settle. Keeping a daily record of how long each sleep is and how she settled will encourage you to keep trying.You are teaching her how to settle alone.
Possibly half swaddling your daughter, one arm out, may help her as she probably thrashes around a lot in a sleeping bag. Babies can have a very strong Moro reflex until the age of about six months – this causes them to jerk their arms or legs when they come into their light sleep, which wakes them up. So make sure she is tucked in securely.
During the day it is important your daughter gets some sleep especially while she adapts to sleeping more at night. Is it possible to get her asleep at lunchtime by taking her for a walk in the pram? At least then she will have the sleep she needs. Part of her night-time problem could well be over-tiredness, especially if she is not having any late-afternoon nap. Concentrate on settling her at night in her room to begin with. If that becomes easier then try to settle her at her morning nap followed by her midday nap.