My six week son seems unable to settle well at the morning nap
My son of 6.5 weeks is fed at 7am, and then starts to become tired 8.20/30. I change his nappy and cuddle him for 15 minutes then take to his dark nursery for 10/15 minutes until he is drowsy. Sometimes he will sleep for a full 45 minutes but most times cries for full 45 minutes, when I will then bring him downstairs. He is normally too hungry to go any later than 10.15am for next feed, but if he has not slept he is shattered and sleeping by 11am and I have to then wake him between 2pm an 2.30pm. If I was to wake him any earlier he wouldn’t make it to 4/4.30pm. If he does sleep in the morning, he will then be tired at 11.30/45pm where he goes to sleep on most days in the car seat as I am getting ready to go and collect my daughter from nursery. So he always has a great sleep at this time regardless if it’s going into his seat or cot. He then takes his 2.30pm feed and will usually be starving taking 6 – 7oz. He then starts getting tired at 3.30pm. I change his nappy and cuddle him until 4.15/30pm and then put in his chair where he will wake on and off until 5pm and will be starving again. He would take 6-7oz if I would let him, but I cant, I only give him 4-5oz as he needs some for after his bath. But he doesn’t enjoy his bath because he is still hungry. He then takes the rest of his bottle and I take him to his room where he is very drowsy but most night’s cries from 7 – 10pm. I give him his feed at 10pm and he sleeps until 2-3am, takes a small feed and goes back to sleep until about 5am. He takes another small feed and will only sleep on my chest then until I wake us at 7am.
(Although last night only took 1oz at 3am and would not take anything at 5am- just went to sleep on my chest and was not as starving as I thought he would be for his 7am bottle). Please could you look at my routine and tell me where I am going wrong, I do let him cry in the morning and evening checking at the appropriate intervals but he is just too upset to go to sleep.
I followed the routine with my daughter who is now 3.5years and she still sleeps 7-7. She was definitely a happy, confident, contented baby and I just want my little boy to be as happy. Just now he doesn’t appear to be, he doesn’t enjoy activities as he is either getting tired or he is too tired as he has not slept.
His feeding times and amounts are 7am 6-7ozs, 10am 5-6ozs, 2.30pm 5-7ozs, 5pm 4-5ozs, 6.15pm 3-4ozs, 10.30pm 5ozs, 2/3am 1-3ozs, 4/5am 1-3ozs. He weighs 11lbs 7ozs.
He naps at 8.50-9.35am, 11.30-2pm, and 4.15-5pm.
The needs of every baby are different: some may need more sleep than others, and some may need their feeds at shorter intervals. Finding out what your baby’s needs are and then using the routines as a guide to work towards, rather then trying to get your baby to fit them, is the best way to cope. Having already had a contented baby with your daughter, it can be a shock when your second child just doesn’t seem to fit so easily into the routines for his age. Take a look at Gina’s article Structure Without Stress which shows you that it is in both your own and your baby’s best interests to follow his needs for feeding times and sleeping, as well as moving him towards a structured routine.
By 9am your son is too tired to sleep properly. He is fighting this sleep, unable to settle himself by this time in the morning. Many young babies can only stay awake for an hour or an hour and a half before needing to be settled for a sleep. Gina states that babies may stay awake for up to two hours but, once your baby shows signs of tiredness, you need to get him to his room and settle him for a sleep. If your son seems to be tired by 8.20am, change him at 8.15am and then get him to his room by 8.25am for a wind down time. Once he shows signs of being drowsy settle him into his cot. Tuck him in tightly, making sure the sheet or blanket covering him is secured at both sides of the cot with rolled towels pushed down the sides of the cot spars. At this earlier time of 8.40/8.45am he may well settle much better. He will be tired and ready to sleep but not over tired and fighting sleep.
Once you have assessed his needs for the morning nap, the next nap(FEED?) should fall into place around 11.30am. If your son wakes at 10am and is hungry then feed him. If he is able to tolerate a split feed at this time you could give him 3-4ozs and then see if he is willing to wait until 10.45am for the second half of the bottle. Although you may not have used a dummy yet, they can be useful to help a baby slow down its feeding down a little. It gives them some “sucking time” which they are missing if drinking their bottles in 10-15 minutes. If your son is taking his feeds very fast, then consider using a dummy whilst he has a break of 10-15 minutes to slow him down a little.
Your son is having a good lunchtime nap which he seems to need. Once he wakes for his next feed again try having a rest halfway through, letting him have some sucking time on a dummy whilst he sits in his chair. Even if he is only content to do this for 5-10minutes you will have slowed him down a little.
It is quite normal for a baby of this age to catnap in the afternoon, or have an hour of sleep; again each baby is different. You son seems to be ready for sleep an hour and half after waking so consider moving his bedtime to 6.30pm. This tiredness may well be the cause of his evening crying. Again, as in the morning he is too tired to sleep.
Splitting the feed at 5pm/6pm is done for several reasons. It helps a baby enjoy his bath more as he is not desperately hungry. It also allows you to give a slightly bigger feed overall. By giving the one part at 5pm and another bottle at 6.15pm your baby will be ready to take a good feed at 10pm. If he had one, complete, feed at 6.15pm it might well knock his appetite to feed well at 10pm. This would then lead to him needing more than one feed in the night. Let your son have 5-6ozs at 5pm if this will mean he is more content at bath time. Make sure he is in the bath by 5.40pm and then having his feed by 6pm. This bottle could be 2-3ozs. Settle him by 6.30pm. The larger 5pm feed, earlier bathtime, and settling by 6.30pm could all help him to go down without such a struggle. As you have an older child as well this earlier bedtime may well help you at this busy time of day.
To help your son begin to stretch himself at night use a split feed at 10pm. This will mean beginning to wake your son at around 9.45pm so he is really well awake and ready to feed at 10pm. Give him 2/3rds of his bottle, so offer 3-4ozs and then encourage him to have a time of quiet kicking. Make sure the room he is in is really light and there is some background noise such as music or the TV. Although you don’t want to stimulate him too much he does need some time awake between 7pm and 7am. Using a split feed at this time will help him have that wakeful period now rather than later in the night. His need to fall asleep on you at 5am may be due to him being not really tired at this time in the morning.
At 11.15pm change him and give him a fresh bottle of milk which can be 2-3ozs. This should be given to him in his room which is darkened and he should be swaddled, if he sleeps like this, ready to be put down as soon as he has finished his feed and has been winded. The combination of a slightly larger feed and a time awake should help him begin to push on in the night.
Look at page 138 of the Contented Little Baby Book where this split feed is described. It is also used in a question and answer on page 86[bottom] which is a problem similar to your own.
A growth spurt is often happening around six weeks of age. This can cause a baby to be a little more unsettled for a few days. Some babies may need more sleep, especially just after the spurt has occurred.
Swaddling your baby and making sure he is well tucked in at all his naps and sleeps will help him learn to settle alone. His Moro reflex can still be strong and may wake him if he is in a period of light sleep.
Have a look at the routines for babies younger than your son. You may realize that his needs at present are more in line with the 2-4 week routine or even the first week routine. Follow these if they seem more suitable to his needs than the one you are presently trying to work. Many babies may stay on a routine which is labelled for a baby much younger than themselves and then they suddenly “grow up” a little and are ready to move on to the next one. Keep a diary of his feed times, the amount of milk he takes at each feed and his nap times, so you can see the pattern that he seems to follow at present. Once your son is following a routine which is in line with his needs he will begin to enjoy the short spells of time that he is awake, as he will be well fed and rested.