Feeding FAQ: 9-12 months – Breast Feeding

My 9-month-old son has never slept through the night and still has a feed

My son has never really slept through the night. He is still waking once or twice a night, being breastfed once, some time between 3.30am and 6am.
About a month ago we gave up trying to get him to sleep through from a feed at 11pm, as 2 night feeds is obviously excessive at his age!! We decided that the earlier feed would be easier to drop, but he had begun to wake at this time due to habit. We have now dropped this feed, by giving him water and a cuddle, but he was taking a long time to settle.
I am now (for the past 4 days) leaving him to settle himself (checking after 20-30mins) if he wakes before 3am (it’s usually around 12-1am), as I know he definitely isn’t hungry then. He settles after 20-40 mins crying and grizzling and usually sleeps until after 5am, when I give him his morning milk early.
An added problem is that he sometimes wakes between 3.30 and 5am, particularly if he hasn’t woken earlier in the night. At this time I have been feeding him (he feeds from both sides and settles until about 6.30) but surely he shouldn’t be hungry this early at his age? Is he just having me on?
I’m also concerned about giving him mixed messages, as I’m leaving him at the earlier waking (if there is one) but feeding him at the next. How can I eliminate hunger as a cause of waking later as it gets towards morning when I can’t give him a diluted feed? If I’m absolutely sure that he isn’t hungry, I can do controlled crying properly and finally sort out his sleeping.

I’m a little confused about what he should have for tea, as a couple of health visitors have told me that he should eat protein at teatime as well as at lunchtime, whereas Gina says that a carbohydrate tea is best. Currently, I’m giving him vegetable protein such as lentils or baked beans at least every other day and making sure that there is plenty of potato or sweet potato in any recipes I use.
He sleeps in a grobag, tucked in with a light sheet. At naptimes, he settles himself to sleep in his cot, except for once a week, when he begins his lunchtime sleep in the car (I transfer him to the cot at home). At his bedtime, he usually goes into a very deep sleep after his breastfeed. I try to rouse him when I put him in his cot, usually with little success. On the odd occasion that he goes into his cot awake, he is able settle himself quickly, with only a brief protest (about a minute), when I leave the room.
At present my son weighs 20lbs. He feeds from both sides if he wakes before 5.30am. If after this time I give him one side and only 5 minutes on the second as he won’t eat enough breakfast. If he feeds before 5am I give him another 5mins at 7am. He takes 2/3rds of a Weetabix or the equivalent amount of Ready-break with some fruit and a fromage frais if still hungry. I offer the breast but usually only takes 5mins, if any at all. He is offered water and a rice cake around 10am, depending how much breakfast he has eaten. Lunch: he eats about 6 cubes [equivalent to over a tablespoon each-25mls] chicken, lamb or beef recipes from Gina, Annabel Karmel or Planet Organix. Finger food given as well. Offered water in the afternoon. Tea: 4-5 cubes [as above] of a vegetarian savoury such as corn chowder, red lentil savoury, baked beans. I offer him baby rice and fruit or a fromage frais if he still seems hungry. 6.40pm breast feed, both sides but gets very sleepy whilst feeding.
He naps at 9.20-9.45am and 12.45-2.45pm. He settles around 7.15pm.

It would seem that given your son’s good food intake in the day, his night feeding is largely a habit. You will need to find ways other than feeding him to get him to go back to sleep. One thing which may be happening is he is falling asleep exhausted at 7.15pm which can often result in early morning waking. It would be much better if you bought forward his bath time routine and had him feeding by 6.15pm. He then will take a good feed and go down into his cot awake, around 6.45pm and perhaps take another 20 minutes to settle himself down to sleep. Falling to sleep on your breast and going into the cot asleep has led him to form the association of feeding with his night-time sleeping and this is probably why he has continued to wake in the night looking for a feed. It is not really from hunger but as a way to settle himself back to sleep.
Now he is able to sleep to 5/5.30am don’t feed him if he wakes before this time. Offer him water and a cuddle to settle him again. This is the basis of the “core night” method used with smaller babies to get them through the night. See p148 of the Contented Little Baby or p 42 in The Complete Sleep Guide.
If he wakes after 5am offer him water and a cuddle to see if he is able to settle for longer. If he won’t settle then give him the smallest feed possible, having had some water he won’t take too much. Treat this feed as a night feed – even if at 6.15am. Keep the room as dark as possible, no eye contact and don’t change him unless you really have to. Work towards cutting this feed out completely. It may mean a few early and disturbed mornings whilst he learns how to resettle himself but the long term result will be a baby who sleeps until nearer 7am.
Cutting out all feeds before 7am should help him take a bigger breakfast – a whole weetabix and fruit with possibly some fromage frais afterwards. Now he is nine months you need to think about giving him some of his breakfast milk from a beaker alongside his solids. This could be expressed if you wish to continue breast feeding but it is important that he gets used to receiving milk from a beaker as well as water. Babies can become very fussy if they are not introduced to the concept of drinking milk as well as sucking it in the first year.
Your son appears to have a good appetite at his other two meals. The reason Gina suggests a carbohydrate based tea is to help a baby who is getting tired at the end of the day eat enough to fill himself up. Potatoes, pasta, rice, mini sandwiches are all offered with vegetables but also some protein in the form of beans, lentils and cheese. Getting the right combination of meals is what matters. If you know your baby has received his main protein meal at lunchtime you can be more relaxed about giving easy things at tea. But they must be made up of filling ingredients hence the emphasis on carbohydrate-based meals.