Feeding FAQ: 3-4 months – Other

My daughter fights most feeds and her intake is falling, should I start to wean her?

My 3.5mth daughter has been following your routines since she was 1 week old and with only a couple of hiccups she is doing brilliantly. Her sleeping is great and 2 weeks ago I decided to drop the 10pm feed as she hated being woken and was grudgingly taking 2oz. She has slept 7pm-7am fine since I dropped it. The problem is that she is such a bad feeder. She never appears hungry and when first offered the bottle (at every feed) she refuses it by shaking her head side to side, up and down and kicking her legs and getting very upset. We’ll have 5-10 minutes of this before she finally gives in, even then her suck is so weak that it takes ages and she spills half of it. She still tries to fight it and gets very upset. I’m sure she doesn’t suffer with wind as she always brings it up very easily and doesn’t seem to have any discomfort in her tummy. We’ve tried feeding in another room, calming music, swaddling to stop her arms from fighting it. We feel awful as we’re practically force feeding her. This last couple of days she has got even worse and I’m sure she knows when feed time is coming as she starts before I even put her bib on. Tonight’s bedtime was horrific and very distressing for her and me. She has always been bad but now we’re at the stage where only I can feed her. She has gone from taking 31oz a day to 24-25oz. We’ve also tried every teat there is including the Tommee Tippee variflow which you recommend but the only one we have half a chance with is the Avent fast flow. No wonder she wouldn’t breastfeed! She is 17 weeks and everyone I speak to says solids is the answer but I feel she should be draining bottles happily first. Please help; she is otherwise a very happy baby.
At present she feeds at 7.20am 8ozs, now down to 6.5ozs, 11am 8ozs, now down to 6-7ozs, 2.30pm 7ozs, now down to 6ozs, 6.15pm 8ozs, now down to 5ozs. She weighs 14lbs 3ozs.
My daughter naps at 9-9.45am, 12-2.15pm and is settled at 7pm.

Until your daughter is taking her feeds better, and having 8ozs at each feed, it would be unwise to begin solids now. She may further decrease her milk intake which would not be advisable. The first solids given are not instead of milk but in addition to it.

Although your daughter was reluctant to take more than 2ozs at the 10pm feed Gina does not recommend dropping this feed, however small, until after solids have been introduced. The feed is usually dropped once solids are being given twice in the day. Many mothers find it is possible to “dream feed” their babies when they are your daughter’s age. This means picking them up from their cots at 10pm but not waking them. The feed is given to the baby in their sleep. It is difficult to say if this would work in your daughter’s case, given her present problem with taking feeds, although if she is soundly asleep she may well take it better than in the day. Although many babies only take 2ozs at 10pm the reason for keeping it in is that there is a growth spurt between the third and fourth month. It would be hard for a baby to get enough milk during this spurt if only taking four feeds a day. Since your daughter has dropped her intake slightly over the past few days, consider putting this late feed back into place before you begin to experience early morning waking as a result of hunger.

See p 92 in The Complete Sleep Guide for a case study relating to dropping this feed too soon.

There are a couple of reasons why your daughter seems to fight the bottle at feed times. Firstly, she may not be hungry. Although you are feeding her according to the routine times some babies, especially around this age, are just not ready to be fed. Try delaying each feed by 15-20mins. So feed at 7.45am, 11.30am, 2.50pm and 6.45pm. Although you have found that the fast flow teat is the best for getting her to drink, her reason for spilling so much could be because she cannot swallow all the milk this teat allows in her mouth at one suck. Providing you have had her checked for any problems such as tongue tie, the shape of her mouth and/or jaw could also be related to this. Although you have tried a variety of teats have you tried a narrow necked bottle such as NUK with an orthodontic, rubber teat as opposed to silicone which is always much harder to suck from? These bottles can usually be found in independent chemists. On the whole there is a wider choice of teat shapes for narrow necked bottles so it may be worth investigating these possibilities if you have not done so already.

The second reason could be she is beginning to show symptoms of teething. As the problem seems to have worsened in the last few days this is worth considering. A baby whose gums are sore will know that sucking may hurt them further and so become upset when they know a bottle is going to be offered. You could try putting some teething gel on her gums about 20 minutes before her feed is due and also offer it to her at a cooler temperature than usual as this will be more soothing.

It is difficult to remain calm when trying to feed a baby who fights a bottle. Sometimes just walking around whilst offering it, not sitting down, can help. Keep talking to your daughter and trying to engage her with eye contact. If you have someone with you get them to distract her with waving toys or rattles behind you. Another ploy used by some mothers of reluctant feeders is to sit so the baby can see the TV screen whilst being fed. As there are plenty of baby videos and DVD’s now available this could be another way to distract her enough so she settles down to feed without so much fuss.

Once your daughter has increased her daily milk intake again it would be worth discussing with your health visitor or doctor the best time to begin weaning.