Feeding FAQ: 24+ months – General Nutrition

My daughter has been invited to three different parties this month all at various soft play/farm venues. Each time the kind parents have offered a choice of food for lunch. All good so far until you read what the choices are – sausage, chips and beans, chicken nuggets, chips and beans or fish fingers, chips and beans. My daughter will not entertain either nuggets or fish fingers so I am left with sausage. She won’t eat chips unless they are home-made sweet potato ones and beans are hit and miss. My question is does anyone have any tips on how I can take her some good quality food with me without it looking like I am a precious mother (which, let’s face it, I am!) and also having to do it three times with the same parents in view each time.

Why do these places insist on serving such rubbish? I mean, how hard is it to serve pasta or baked potato? I really don’t mind her eating rubbish once in a blue moon and probably wouldn’t have bothered posting if it was a one-off but three weekends on the trot is a little excessive.

Answer

I don’t have any great suggestions for you, but just wanted to say that I don’t think fish fingers are really that bad nutritionally and wouldn’t count them as rubbish. Once in while, they can be part of a nutritionally-balanced meal. I appreciate your problem is three weekends in a row though.

I have to say that I did purposely introduce my son to fish fingers when he was younger, as I knew it would be handy when he was older at such occasions as parties or eating from a children’s menu in a pub/cafe etc. I have more of a problem with the content of sausages!

I’m sure someone will have a good idea for you. Otherwise I guess just tell the parents the truth – that your daughter doesn’t eat any of those foods and therefore you have brought your own. I must agree that it wouldn’t be much effort to offer a pasta choice or offer mash instead of chips and a vegetable alternative to beans.

Answer

If it was me (and having been to zillions of parties now mine are both that bit older), I would go with the flow, let her have what is there, it really won’t hurt. Just make sure the rest of the day and week is ‘healthy’. You might find she eats what’s there if everyone else is, and it’s nice for them to have a treat at parties. I was a terrible worrier over food, but have learned to relax a lot and they eat fantastically healthy food 99% of the time, so I don’t care about parties but other times I am still really careful. I think it is good for them to muck in and eat stuff they wouldn’t normally as there’s nothing worse than a fussy eater (even if they only like the healthy stuff!).

Answer

I’ve relaxed a lot about what my son eats at parties. He’s so into parties and he would be upset if he couldn’t eat what the other children were having.
Luckily for me he isn’t naturally a greedy child, only ever takes one biscuit etc. The two things I haven’t yet relaxed on are fizzy drinks and jelly-style sweets, He’s never has either and I’m holding out as long as I can on those. Hopefully until he gets to school age!

I guess you could let her have a go at the party meal but take some other healthy alternatives in case she doesn’t eat much. She may well have a few bites of her meal and pick out what she does like but also eat some healthy extras alongside it.

Not all parties serve that kind of food. My son had his party at a small soft play place and they serve a buffet-style party lunch or tea which included lots of fresh cut fruit and carrot and cucumber sticks and hummus dip, as well the usual sandwiches etc.

Answer

I would be thinking exactly the same! My son hasn’t had chips. I have given him beans two or three times. I once tried him with fish fingers. He ate them, yet I haven’t given them since. If it were me I suppose I would go with the fish fingers as my son has never had sausage or chicken nuggets, but I realise your daughter won’t eat them. Although I would hate the idea of giving a child chips, I think there are worse things in the world than chips just a couple of times in these situations – the main issue with them is fat but I guess they won’t hurt on just these occasions. I see the sense in what the others are saying but I really know how hard I would find it given the situation too. Isn’t it mad when we are worrying about our children NOT wanting junk when you think about it!

I realise unfortunately these meals reflect the state of things in the world today, but I really think a bowl of pasta in a simple tomato sauce wouldn’t be so hard to offer or spaghetti bolognese which most people like? The whole concept of children’s processed food just puzzles me – why can’t they just eat adult stuff from the word go? They clearly love it!

I think I would have a couple of things up your sleeve so she doesn’t go hungry and supplement the meal. It doesn’t have to seem snobbish or anything – your daughter just doesn’t like these foods and the very worst they can think is she’s a bit fussy when you know otherwise!

It’s hard – on the one hand I don’t want to set my son apart from the rest to the point where when he is older gets picked on, but neither do I want to bow down to peer pressure and just feed him rubbish! How do you reconcile these things as they get older?

Answer

What time are the parties? When my children were this age I used to give them lunch before we went to things like this, even if it meant giving them lunch at 11 or 11.30am and/or arriving a bit late to the party! Then I’d know they’d eaten a good meal and wouldn’t be hungry because it was stuff they didn’t like or that they wouldn’t just eat a tonne of cake.

I have to say that, since they hit three, I am much more relaxed and they just eat whatever is going – and if they only eat cake, it’s not such a big deal!