Feeding FAQ: 9-12 months – Formula Feeding

My almost 10-month-old son is refusing his bedtime milk

I am wondering about changing our son’s tea time since he has begun refusing bedtime milk.
He is now almost 10 months old and is on target for trebling his weight by 1 yr [he is presently 24lbs 10ozs]. He has followed the routines well (other than the lunchtime sleep which we seem to have resolved with a catnap later in afternoon if this goes wrong).
Then, at 9 months he got a cold, cut 6 teeth all at once and had a sore- but not infected ear. Everything went wrong: we had disturbed nights and days, he was fussy with solids and milk intake and he was lethargic.
Slowly as his sleep and his solids intake came back to normal, he began refusing his bedtime milk.
I tried all the recommendations to encourage bedtime milk to no avail. I then found that he would take a drink of 2.5-3.5oz milk with his tea. Together with cheese, yoghurt etc he reaches his milk quota for the day.
However now that 6.30-7.00pm no longer involves the wind down of drinking milk I wondered if I should try pushing tea closer to 5.30pm resulting in less of a gap before bedtime after bathing and dressing for bed. Should I offer him water or a drink of baby fennel tea before bed?
At present he takes 6-8.5ozs of milk divided between cup and cereal at breakfast. He will eat fresh fruit with porridge, baby muesli, or weetabix and a small piece of toast. Lunch is protein based: i.e. chicken casserole or fish, potatoes and veg. He takes 3ozs of juice with this. 2.30pm 4ozs or a fromage frais if milk is refused. Tea is thick soup with mini sandwiches. I add cheese or fromage frais if his milk intake for the day is not high. 2.5-3.5ozs milk with tea.
He naps at 9-9.30am, 12-1.40pm and 3.45-4-15pm. He is settled at 7pm.

The amount of milk your son is taking in the day is fine for his age but one problem you may encounter if he continues to have milk with his tea and only water or fennel tea before bed could be waking early in the morning due to hunger.
Moving his tea later and offering a drink before bed could be one answer but you could also try the following: Cut out his feed at 2.30pm, offering him some fruit or cheese and a rice cake as a snack, along with a drink of water or well diluted juice. Keep his tea at 5pm and offer water with this. By 6.30pm he may well be more willing to take a good 6-8ozs bottle which will ensure he sleeps well at night and has had a good overall intake of at least 12 ozs.
Look at the question and answer on p100 in The Contented Weaning book for a case similar to your own.