Feeding FAQ: 6-9 months – Other

I’m trying the routines for my 6-month-old but how do I stop nightfeeding?

My son is 6 months and 1 week old, and although he has a half brother and sister (who are both teenagers) they do not live with us. He was 7lbs at birth and weighed 15lbs 9oz on the 4th of February. He is breastfed and, until Sunday, just gone his feeding routine was as follows; he would wake anytime between 5-6 am and want feeding and be ready to start the day. He would feed for 5 minutes and then lose interest and start to chat and play. An hour later he would want more food and get quite frantic if I tried to not feed him. He would have a similar amount and then again lose interest – I did try to get him to feed longer at each feed, but he would just start to flail his arms and legs about and refuse any more food.
About 1 hour-45 minutes after he woke up he would be showing signs of being tired, so he would have another feed and go to sleep on the breast. I would put him in his cot and he would then sleep anywhere from half an hour to 2 hours. When he woke his feeding would follow the same pattern, except where he would usually have more milk after an hour I would give him solids (2tsp puréed apple, banana or apricot and 1tbs baby rice or baby porridge ) and water from a cup. He was only middling interested in the solids, some days eating it all and others refusing completely (except apricot – he always eats apricot!) Again he would be tired after 2 hours and would have more milk (again about 4/5 minutes) and then sleep the same range of hours again.
When he woke we would follow the same routine as the morning, and after 2 hours he would have another nap, up to an hour long. Depending on how early he started the day, sometimes he might even have another nap, because he just did not seem able to stay awake longer than 2 hours without getting overtired and overwrought. His instinct was to sleep and the midwives and health visitors had advised me to follow my baby’s lead – that he would know when to eat and when to sleep. I tried to not let him have his last nap after 5:30pm and we would then have his feed, followed by solids an hour later ( 4 tsp puréed veg – parsnip, carrot or peas – with 1 and a half tbs potato, rice or sweet potato, with some Petit Filous for afters). He would then have 10-20 minutes of naked kick about in front of the fire, followed by his bath (given by myself or my husband between 6 and 6:30) which he loves, and then downstairs for drying and dressing in front of the fire. I would then feed him in the lounge, and, when he was asleep (usually between 7 and 8pm), either on myself or my husband, he would be carried up to his cot where he would happily sleep until 10:30-11:30pm, when he would wake and want feeding.
This feed was usually around 8 minutes and then he went back to sleep (again while feeding), having been awake for 15-90 minutes. He would then wake 2 hours later, and then 2 hours later and then start the day between 5 and 6am. Each time he woke I would feed him (4 to 6 mins) and he would go back to sleep. When he was awake he was very lively, alert and happy.
On Sunday I decided to get tough and introduce Gina’s routines for 6 months old, and I have been putting him in his cot when he was still awake so he could learn to settle himself. He has adapted fairly well to settling himself during the day, but cries terribly when I try to settle him between 11pm and 6am without a feed (so I usually give in). He struggles to stay awake longer than 2 hours and it is using all my inventiveness to keep him awake and to not let him have his afternoon nap. He is also protesting pitifully at the lack of his usual milk feeds – I thought he would be used to it by day 3, but when he wakes at 9:45am it is impossible to not give him any food until 11:45, I can just about stretch it to 11/11:15 but he appears to be so starving by then that I have to give him at least half his milk feed if I want to stand any chance of him taking any his solids (I moved breakfast to 7am and introduced lunch – same as tea, only smaller amount). If he does not have the milk feed he has a terrifying screaming session when I try and give him solids.
Apart from that earlier feeding, and him then going to sleep by 12pm, I have pretty much got Gina’s routine in place. However he is still waking twice between 11pm and 5am, and apparently genuinely hungry. If he wakes to start the day before 6am, I will feed him and then put him back down and he usually cries himself to sleep (for about half an hour) and then wakes again close to 7am – starving again. I know that the habits he has gotten into are all my own fault – although I read Gina’s book while I was pregnant and was determined to follow it to the letter (I even made my husband read it!), when I got my wee boy home he was so small and so helpless and so dependent on me that I was easy fodder for the health visitors, who all advised me to follow my baby’s lead – that he knew what he needed. Anyway I am reaping what I sowed now, and I just cannot take the sleep deprivation any longer – it is affecting my enjoyment of my baby and affecting my relationship with my husband. I was reading Richard Ferber this morning (when listening to my screaming baby at 3am and 5:30 am) and he suggests gradually reducing the amount of time baby is feeding when he wakes in the early hours and not to go cold turkey like I am trying, which is incredibly traumatic.
Please help me!!
Tanya

Reading through your diary it seems you have already done a great deal to improve your little boy’s day already. It cannot have been easy. But now you are realising what his needs are in terms of feeding and sleeping by day it will be easier to sort out the nights.

Coming into the routines now may mean gradually building up to the one for his age, so take a look at the ones for slightly younger babies and see if they resemble your baby’s day more at the moment. If they do, follow them for a week or two and then advance onto one nearer to his age.

Your baby has associated falling asleep with feeding at the breast in the night for six months. To suddenly withdraw that from him has upset him, so gradually eliminating the feeding over a period of time should be less traumatic for you and him. But until most of his nutritional needs are being met in the daytime he will genuinely need to feed at night.

I would suggest that you try to move your son’s largest intake of solids to lunchtime (11-12midday) as when you introduce protein that is the next milk feed to be eliminated. At this early stage use the “tier” method of feeding. Give him some of his milk feed first, followed by solids then finish his milk feed. In this way he will gradually accept more solids at lunch and eventually the milk can be replaced by water in a beaker.

Once he has eliminated his night feeding and breakfast gets bigger he will be able to wait longer for lunch but don’t expect things to happen all at once. As you get him more used to your new routine things will gradually fall into place.

Keeping babies awake in the afternoon can be hard work. You may need to let him have a 15 minute catnap before 5pm even if he is having a full two hour lunchtime nap. Let him have plenty of time on the floor, rolling and kicking in the afternoon so he will be ready for a good tea , bath and bedtime feed nearer to 7pm.

The feed at 10:30/11pm should stay in place until his solid intake increases but when he next wakes (2am?) try to settle him with water rather than milk. Even if he settles for another hour before needing milk you are gradually stretching him in the night. Gina writes of this “core” method in her Complete Sleeping Guide. Once you have eliminated the first night feed and your son is sleeping a longer stretch his “core” night then begin to work on the next night feeding in the same way. Unfortunately you will still be up quite a bit in the night for another few weeks but the knock-on effect of losing these night feeds will be an increased appetite in the day. At 7am he will gradually increase his need for breakfast as he will be genuinely hungry. If you are unsure how to go on introducing solids look at The Complete Weaning Guide which gives detailed instructions for different stages.

As you have already done so well in getting your baby into more of a routine I am sure you will be able to overcome these last few difficulties and be able to enjoy your son so much more.