Sleeping FAQ: 18-24 Months – Lunchtime Nap

My daughter, aged nearly two years, has started to have inconsistent naps at lunch time, often remaining awake in her cot chatting for 1.5 hours. This began after a period of illness where she lost her appetite. Following the afternoons when she does sleep well, she will not settle to sleep until 8pm in the evening and, on the afternoons when she doesn’t sleep well, she is a total nightmare as she is so irritable.

My daughter aged nearly two years has started to have inconsistent naps at lunch time, often remaining awake in her cot chatting for 1.5 hours. This began after a period of illness when she lost her appetite. Following the afternoons when she does sleep well, she will not settle to sleep until 8pm in the evening and, on the afternoons when she doesn’t sleep well, she is a total nightmare as she is so irritable. Her habit of hitting me is escalating despite my efforts to resolve it. 

I am at my wits’ end. I wouldn’t mind her dropping the nap if she wasn’t a complete horror in the afternoon as a result. She looks exhausted and definitely needs this sleep. I am due my next baby in 6 weeks and need to get it sorted. Do you think this is just a phase? What should I be aiming for at this age? I admit she might not be getting the exercise she needs due to the weather and my pregnancy.  However, yesterday morning she had two hours at a soft play place and ran herself ragged – but still she did not nap even though she was desperate and told me all afternoon that she was tired!

My daughter takes three good meals a day and drinks cow’s milk from a beaker.

The daytime sleep needs of this age group can vary tremendously. Some toddlers still need a two hour sleep at lunchtime until well over the age of two whereas others will cut back quite a lot, needing only a short nap to keep them going throughout the afternoon without becoming over tired. A toddler’s needs can change quite suddenly so it can be difficult to know quite how to handle a sudden shift in your daughter’s sleeping patterns.

Your daughter appears to need a shorter nap but is not quite ready to drop it completely.  We would suggest that you still put her down in her cot at lunchtime, at around 1pm/1.30pm, but call it rest time and not sleep time. Draw the curtains but leave them open slightly, to allow a little light in the room. Play a cassette of gentle nursery rhymes that your daughter likes, making sure it will play for an hour.  Use the same cassette for the first couple of days and, after she gets used to settling in her cot for rest time, you can vary the recording you play for her.  You may find that some days she will sleep and others she won’t.  If she has had a very hectic morning she will be more likely to sleep but do not allow her more than one hour.  If she has not gone to sleep within an hour we would advise that you get her up, otherwise she may become frustrated laying awake any longer than that.

Once your daughter gets up you should establish a further period of quiet time, as this will be helpful when the new baby arrives. If your daughter enjoys listening to stories you could spend time together curled up, on either a sofa or your bed, and enjoy looking at a pile of books together. Make this a cosy time, snuggling together under a blanket so she gets the idea of being quiet. If she is not that good at listening to stories for any length of time, you could try the distraction of a video or DVD, but make sure you both sit and watch together. You may need to be firm about her staying on the sofa or bed for this quiet time but, if you use this time to take a rest yourself, she will be more likely to remain close to you.

On days that your daughter does not sleep you will need to ensure that her afternoons are not too exhausting. Find some quiet activities which you and your daughter can enjoy together.  Have a supply of play dough and art materials such as scrap paper, coloured pens and glue sticks.  Your daughter can help with cookery sessions, for which you can use instant cake mixes. Also, try to get out for a short walk each afternoon. Changing her scene and occupation throughout the afternoon may help her be less irritable with you.

It may take a couple of weeks to establish a new routine for your daughter but, if you are persistent and consistent, you should be able to create a quiet period each day. If your daughter does start to nap for a shorter time on a more regular basis, play around with her bedtime a little to find the best time to put her down so she settles to sleep with in 15-20minutes. She may settle quicker if she is put into her cot at 7.15pm.