Sleeping FAQ: 3-4 Months – Other

3-month growth spurt

My son is 13 weeks old. He was 8lb 1 at birth and at 12 weeks was 15lb 5oz. He is breastfed. I am having problems with his sleeping both at lunchtime and in the night. I feed him at 7am, 10.15/30am, 2.15/30pm, a split feed at 5.15pm and 6.15pm and then again at 10pm. He feeds well at all times (even 10pm if we try particularly hard) and cries to be fed at 10.15am and 5.15pm so I have not been able to push the feeds to 11am and after the bath.
At night his waking is inconsistent but he generally wakes up between 3am-5am and feeds very hungrily. Recently he has also been waking at 5.50/6.10am and we are having varied success in putting him back down until 7am. We have tried letting him cry with no success and he is sometimes able to be cuddled to sleep. I do not feed him at this juncture. He sleeps between 9am and 9.30/45am and 12 and 12.30/1pm. I struggle to keep him awake at 9am and 12 noon. I usually get him up if he wakes during his morning nap and never leave him after 9.45am. At the lunchtime nap we have sometimes been able to get him back down after a cuddle (again crying doesn’t work) and often I take him out in the car or pram to get him back to sleep so as not to upset the rest of the routine. Prior to him having a cold at 10 weeks he slept through from 12pm until 2.15pm or until I woke him. Generally he is having 3 hours sleep or less during the day and I never let him sleep after 5pm.

There are a couple of other factors – he was in a crib until 10 weeks and we used to rock him to sleep (a mistake I know) and it is not dark in his room (it is temporary accommodation and we are unable to change this until he is 20 weeks when we move back home – it is Scotland though so it is still pitch black at 5am).

I really don’t know how to deal with the waking. Should I leave him until he is older to do controlled crying, or accept that his daytime sleep cycle is not ideal and allow him extra naps in the afternoon until he is older? I think the issue is really that he can’t settle himself back to sleep (he is great at going down with only minutes of whimpering) – any ideas greatly appreciated.
Faeth

Your son is quite a big baby and could well be going through his three month growth spurt at the moment. In order to try to get him to cut back on feeding at 3am, or at least going to nearer 5-6am try giving him a top-up of expressed milk after his 10pm feed. It is important that he has a good feed at this time so he will gradually go longer in the night. It can also help if you keep him awake for about an hour at 10pm. This can be done by allowing him a short period of kicking on the bed without too much stimulation mid-feed. Try feeding him, changing him, allowing him to kick and then offer him a top-up of expressed milk in a dimly lit room so he settles back to sleep.

If he wakes about 3am try to settle him back without feeding him. Offer him some boiled water rather than the breast as he has shown he can get through to 5am. He may only settle for another hour but you are gradually pushing him through rather than just not feeding him. This is called the “core night”.

Once he is pushing through to 5-6am, give him a top-up feed at 7.30am to keep him on track for the rest of the day. He will still need to feed at about 10.15am until he is taking his biggest feed at 7am, rather than earlier and having a top-up.

You may have already read Gina’s article on the lunchtime nap which is posted on the website (it contains advice about the “crying down” method and controlled crying, but Ben is certainly too young for the latter at the moment). The lunchtime nap can be a problem at this age as babies’ sleep patterns change and they do need to learn how to fall back to sleep after a period of light sleep. By all means try to keep the sleep going midday with a walk or a ride but also keep trying him in his cot every few days as he needs to learn how to do this on his own if it is not to become a problem in the night. I presume the room is not very dark by day? Can you fix temporary blackout blinds with self-stick velcro? If he is feeding at 10:15am are you sure he is not waking through hunger during this nap? Try him with a small top-up feed before going down at 12 noon. If he manages a week of uninterrupted sleep, then gradually begin to cut it back over a few days until you have eliminated it altogether.

If he needs a short nap in the afternoon to get through to 7pm without becoming exhausted then continue to do this until he is better settled at midday. Keep trying to get Ben to settle himself back to sleep. He may take 15-20mins of fussing to do so but it is worth doing something about it now.

Does your son use a sleeping bag? If he does then make sure he is still tucked in with a sheet or lightweight blanket as babies of this age still can have quite a pronounced Moro reflex which disturbs them. It is worth using a bag if he hasn’t started already and put him in it for all his naps and night time sleep.