Sleeping FAQ: 0-8 weeks – Settling/Sleep Associations

At 5 weeks our baby finds it hard to settle at 7pm

Joel fitted into your routines generally very well for the first four weeks. However for the past five nights he has been impossible to settle at 7pm, even though before then there had been no problems. I have looked on the website for ideas and tried them all; starting the evening routine earlier, making sure he had enough to eat, working hard on winding him down, using a dummy to settle him into his cot; nothing seems to work.

We now have reached the point where one of us has to hold him until he falls asleep properly and we are afraid of giving him all the wrong messages, but we don’t want to let him cry for ages at this age.

What is so frustrating is that we can’t pinpoint a cause and are concerned in starting the wrong associations with Joel falling asleep. Does he just need a bit of reassurance? He is feeding well and gaining more weight than is recommended but that is what he seems to need when on the breast.

He feeds for 20-30 minutes one side and then is offered the second breast at 7.15am, 10.15am, 2.00pm, one breast at 5pm 20-30mins, second breast at 6pm 20-30mins, 10pm 20-30 minutes one side, second side for 10-15mins, 4am one side, 20 minutes max at any time between 4-6pm.

Joel weighs 10lb 3.5ozs. He sleeps 8.50-9.50am, 11.45-2.00pm, 4-4.30pm.

There are usually two main reasons why a baby is unsettled at 7pm: hunger or overtiredness.

Joel seems to be feeding well in the day, but by 6pm your supply may well be low. He may appear satisfied but then is unable to drop off to sleep. If you have expressed milk in the freezer then offer him a couple of ozs after his feed. If he accepts this and then settles you will realise that hunger has been the cause. Some mothers with a low supply find it best to offer both sides at 5pm and a feed of expressed milk after the bath. They then know the baby has received a good feed and will sleep until 10pm.

If hunger is not the cause, look at overtiredness. A baby who is over tired will fight falling asleep and so “cry down” before settling. To avoid this happening, try letting Joel have a slighter longer sleep in the afternoon. If he is waking himself at 4.30pm go out with him in the pram between 4-5pm and see if he will nap longer at this time. A baby as young as Joel could still well need nearly an hour in the afternoon.

Once fed at 5pm, let Joel have a kick before his bath time and then give him the rest of his feed in his room, which you have already dimmed so he will be more likely to settle once fed. You may find the use of a lullaby light helpful at this age.

Around the age of 5/6 weeks many babies are a little more unsettled. They need to be given time to wind down and settle themselves to sleep which may include some crying. Look in The Complete Sleep Guide p26 for a detailed plan to settle a young baby.

Getting Joel to settle himself is important, and you are right in not wanting to start the wrong associations with falling asleep. Whilst he is learning this skill, a little crying in the evening may happen. If you have checked for hunger and let him have the right amount of sleep in the day, it should not be long before he is able to settle himself better.